Doctor: Eddie, tell me what you see.

Yeah, but the ground is still obscured by his giant balls.

I didn’t know fainting goats could even skate. I feel like Coach K is coaching the Pens.

Did anybody catch Sidney Crosby dying at the end of the game after scoring an empty net goal?

D.B. Pooper

An employer-sponsored plan such as a 401(k) is “pre-tax” because your employer subtracts the contribution from your income before it’s reported on your W2.

Rocks from where? In my town, snow does not include stone when it falls.

They’re getting the fuck out of the dugout since apparently that’s where the jackass is aiming with the bat flip.

Puck hitting a goal post in hockey. That clang is amazing.

I’d replace “slap shot” with “hockey shot hitting goal post.” Slap shots aren’t often aubile on TV, but the post clank ALWAYS is and it’s a rare thing and a great moment — it gets the announcers and crowd going.

Puck off the goalpost should be top 5, and goal horn should be top 10, especially if accompanied by Brass Bonanza.

Ping of the puck going off the post woulda been my number one. When I played I almost liked hitting the post as much as actually scoring.

Enjoying the Knicks in their “purest form” is like a bad strain of heroin; no one wants it, even if they think they do.

It’s nice to see your political views don’t prevent you being offended by the banal exploitation of the patriotic blood sacrifice of an American.

Nice to see you don’t let your own political views influence your writing.

That’s well put. But when the policy of said people and their democratically elected government is to deliberately target innocents, and this continues right up to the present day (stabbing a little girl in her bed, for example) and when these outrages are met, by the perpetrator population, with sweets in the…

Ah, the hypocrisy is thick. Remember when he went after the Khan family and accused HRC of using them as a political prop? Fun times, man. Fun times.

You think the Walton’s keep their money in secret vaults somewhere waiting for inflation? No. That money is, in large measure, invested in new companies, ideas and ventures. How else do you think she gets richer. Its not simply by sitting back, she puts the money to work making more money. Sure, some of it is in…

California would have 64 electors if it were based strictly on population. 12.15% of the U.S. population is in California, and there are 538 electors.

Your logic seems reasonable, but do you have any statistics to back this up? I was under the impression that nearly all population growth in CA over the past 20 years or so can be attributed to minority groups- not exactly rust belt demographics.