Are fans of the book worried that Spielberg will ruin the story with this adaptation?

The fingerprint reader is even worse. I can't unlock my iPhone after washing my hands. Imagine having to unlock your gun with sweaty hands.

So, when a burglar is in my house meaning to do harm to me, I want to find my linked watch or device and then get the gun..... no one will buy this..

Protip: count the legs and then divide by 4

Yes won’t someone think of the sheep’s feelings, my eyes are practically rolling out of my head here man. I mean these guys actually herd sheep and have been their whole life but I’m sure rando internet guy knows better.

Nope, not at all - especially not if it’s Girl Scouts with their dastardly cookies on the other side of that door.

Ah, yes, hipsters. The thing to say about it, of course, is the opposite of what it is.

This one might be 20 but you know damn well that they’ll have 18 year olds inside the covers before long.

I feel like he didn’t actually end up changing his ways haha.

So everybody doesn’t have to search. I present to you the 2009 blog post after South Park called him a gay fish. AKA the best blog post ever written. I’ve left the caps intact.

An all corn diet leads to an extremely horrible death.

This is retarded.