When I am correct, may the Jalopnik Gods spite me.

I wish I could be blind.

Now look again.

These journalist keep raving about the new Corvette's acceleration, while apparently remaining oblivious to that fact that a bone stock, 2002, 5.7 liter, port injected Z06 was just as quick.

"As soon as I got in it and hit the starter button, that's when it got REAL for me."

Sorry, I wasn't saying don't drive it on the street. Just semi-joking that the wing should be left at the track, where it belongs.

Exactly. Going 61 in a 60 is breaking the law just as well. Thankfully all of us jalops strictly adhere to all posted limits though. ;)

Right. Because nobody who ever bought a car to drive on the street EVER took that same car to the track.

The base 2014 model, which you can buy in a showroom today, already did a 7:19.1.

Lighter weight, a lot more power, a lot more aero, and finally some truly sticky R-compound tires and this thing could very reasonably be putting the Porsche 918's weissach package ring time to shame.

So class, what have we learned? The Escalade might be a Tahoe clone to some and the future of Cadillac to others, but a toy for the hip-hop elite it is not. I'm from Detroit. You know who I see driving a ton of Escalades? Old guys that used to work for GM.

Fuck I hate autoplay adchoices adds, Thanks Jalopnik/kinja.

I pull the handbrake on snow, but for entirely different reasons.

He wasn't driving...in Russia you "hurricane kick" everyone out of the way.

These tail lights look ridiculous.

Wow. Belittling and condescending much?

I agree that the Escalade is a HUGE financial success for GM. But, to scrambles... point, its unfortunately a soulless conveyance without the capability and passion of, say, a Range Rover. Even a Lexus LX/Toyota Land Cruiser combines off-road skills and luxury better.

Black rappers, rejoice! Your preferred mode of transport has been updated! (Now with less bullet holes)