It's too bad Jezebel isn't behind Iggy, or else the tone would be:

As someone who watches this show, I'll tell you straight up: it is terrible TV. Terrible.

SUR (Sexy Unique Restaurant)

You know what I like? Online shopping. Yeah, online shopping is good.

They are! Except for when they're not.

Caucasians are harmless like bunnies.

Right, if you're not creep, maybe just say "I really want to get head in a car, if any women have similar fantasies, get in touch." It's the exchange that suggests you're a creep more than anything.

Well, actually he's being honest about shoving down your throat.

I mean, he's still a goon, but a thoughtful goon.

She's a parasitic shit-worm. There you go - bad insult and non-gendered!

I would like to put all of her shoes in a place where she can't find them then sprinkle her whole home with Legos. I would also like to make the only music she is ever allowed to listen to every song featuring Pitbull or Nickleback.

I've having trouble coming up with something bad enough to call this woman. Part of that is because all the worst insults are misogynistic, and I try really hard not to use those, but a good bit of it is just that she's an unbelievable fucking waste of a human being that I don't think a word bad enough exists.

you & everybody else on this entire fucking planet.

I don't know what these women are paid to play with a baby rhino, but I WOULD DO IT FOR FREE.

The only way I would do a running regime is if a tiny baby rhino would chase me. Get on that Planet Fitness!

I am so completely mesmerized by its weird butt. It looks like an ill-fitting skirt. Skin skirt. Rhino skin skirt. GET YOUR BUTT TAILORED, TINY RHINO.

Brilliant. Now, how do we get them to read/recognize themselves? And dudes, nothings is more repulsive than waving your fiscal dick around. Any woman who cares, you do not want.

That should be the NJ state motto. Everyone from NJ should carry cards with that written on it to hand out to everyone they meet.

Mark, this is how Nelly would handle an agility test. "FUCK YOUR STUPID SHIT HERE. WHERE IS MY BURGER?"