My toddler won’t stop screaming GAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHZZZZZOOOOOOO at peak child volume (1 million decibels), which is his attempt at my GGGGAAAALLLLLLAAAAAZZZOOOO...and now my wife looks like she wants to murder both of us. Whoops. New skill unlocked for the kid.

Forget racism; the logic behind that paragraph is so frighteningly dumb that this man should not be a paid writer.

Really makes my dad’s favorite way to threaten me, “I’ll hit you so hard your great grandkids will feel it,” seem way more fucked up.

thats because racism has not only been legitimized, its been deemed patriotism.

“I would never ...” = “I didn’t realize there would be consequences for my actions.” Which is why we are seeing an uptick in racist and anti-Semitic acts; people are getting the message that they can get away with it.

I don’t know, I think Trump’s assertion today that Jews are phoning in bomb threats to their own institutions to discredit him is nearly as offensive!

They started from the fact that there were too many students in America who did not have equal access to education.

I think next season we will wake up with Hillary coming out of the shower near the Oval Office.

I’m guessing (I don’t know the La La Land dudes) that the bald fellow who broke the news over the mic was the above-mentioned Jordan Horowitz?

I’ve never seen him before but I admire how he was serious as a heart attack about this. He wasn’t having any jokes, he was not putting up with any confusion, and he fucking…

That La La Land producer is who we all want to be in that moment. Decisive, understands priorities, gets the proof out there ASAP, and his hand was steady as a fucking rock holding that card up for the cameras to read.

Is it safe to assume we collectively opened the wrong envelope in November?

God, remember back when we all thought she was just the battiest goddamned thing to ever come out of politics, and how it was amazing someone that unprepared for office was anywhere even near the presidency?

Considering Sarah Palin normalized rank stupidity, I’d say there’s (at least) one other prominent dipshit he’s got to apologize for.

The only time John McCain was a good idea was when the alternative was George W. Bush.

Isn’t it amazing how many people think and act as if 1965 was THOUSANDS of years ago?

the only thing i care about in football is when the winning team lines up to gently kiss the tip of the president’s penis and receive a championship muffin

I was gonna say... did this fucking moron just call SNL, a live comedy skit show, “Fake News”?

I read an article yesterday about cross-gender casting (specifically regarding the Spicer sketch, but it gave a nice little rundown of how men-dressed-as-women is a go-to for yuks), which rightly pointed out that there’s an extra bite to the rabid press monkey being portrayed by a woman. I love it. I wallow in how…

In the United States, we’ve been primed to believe that wealth comes from hard work and intelligence. Since Trump is wealthy, this line of thought goes, he must be pretty smart. And, he’s saying the things his supporters “are all thinkings”. Isn’t that what we kept being told during the campaign? “He says what I’m…