Don't forget the Jalopnik sticker.

But forget the CMSP guideline - here's mine:

You're going to have to be Jalopniks Nascar correspondent in North Carolina now.

When you do it...it's cool, when it is an "exciting 2014 Sentra!" not cool

i remember thinking these were pretty neat when they first came out. 230Hp turbo sport compact introduced right when the kids who were way too into fast and the furious were getting their permits. Back in 03 you had very few 4cyl turbo options.

You just gotta love a car that makes more power in stock form on a chassis dyno than it's rated for at the crank.

The Neon SRT-4 can be as fast or angry looking as you can make it, but it will only ever be seen as a Neon. It will never command the same respect as a Civic SI or a Camaro – it will always be just a Neon.

Thanks for the shout out.

I love the commentary from the random dude.

"He's too old! He's too old! He's too old!"

Keep in mind a 1989 Porsche 911 Cabrio was 6.4 from 0-60. That's pretty damn quick for a freaking Taurus.

Nope. But they drive very well, and look like this inside:

Yessir. You need only prove you can drive at low speeds for 10 minutes in a Honda Civic (U.S. driver's test is unfathomably easy) and you can drive one of these bad boys wherever , whenever you want.

You used the wrong class A:

That's why I'm shaking my head so much I'm getting a neck cramp.

Ken Laberteaux is a senior principal scientist for Toyota North America, and he's convinced that self-driving cars will increase pollution, exacerbate urban sprawl, and ruin our families. I'm pretty sure there's something in there about killing kittens too, but I may have missed it in his haze of pessimistic,…

What the hell is an Aluminum Falcon?

Dear Google,