I was at the game last night and that was the most animated the crowd had been since Disneyland opened. It was like the second coming of A.J. Pierszinski.

God dammit. I have avoided thinking about her narrow undead-looking ass and you had to go there.

Fun fact: Bob Gibson was also a member of the Harlem Globetrotters before deciding on baseball full time. Lucky for Cardinals fans; for the rest of the league, sucked to be you.

SAVAGE burn.

What happened to Kelly is the same thing that happened to Michael Jackson, and Gary Glitter, and Jimmy Savile, and Jeffrey Epstein. They got away with it for so long because they had the shine: all the money, fame and/or political connections they needed to attract a cloud of hangers-on like flies on a corpse. As long…

As the man said, cruelty is the point.

I used to own a 2012 Focus that had exactly this problem. In stop-and-go traffic, the transmission would judder so hard that I thought the engine had thrown a piston. I took it to the dealer three or four times for that issue. After the last visit, it cleared up and never did it again. I wonder now if they did…

I...I love you, Anon.

Yeah, it’s a couple hundred at most. Throw the buyer a bone here.

Are those scorch marks on the front of the hood!? Please tell me it’s rust.

I’m 55 and I ask the office whippersnappers what their favorite bands are. As you might expect, a lot of it sounds like Vogon poetry to me, but there have been some jewels here and there (Deep Cotton, Aloe Blacc...hell, they turned me on to Janelle Monae and the Bombay Dub Orchestra).

RIP, Mr. Iacocca, you magnificent bastard.

Yeah...the time for mercy would have been putting the car in reverse. 

Yessir. I want him to die alone and forgotten.

Came here for this, was not disappoint. Have people never heard of “staging”? 

“Oh, there’s the earth-shattering kaboom.”

How terrible. My sincere condolences to his family on their loss.

we oughta see Ichiro throwing to Shohei in one