I disagree vehemently with everything on this list. But I like the way it was written. I guess this is a paradox.

Sorry — my daddy’s people are Creole... like down BELOW New Orleans Creole... Rice is a staple in our house. I almost went to blows with my doctor when he tried to take me off of it.

Was this list written by a vegan Russian bot?

I wouldn’t mind coming back as a spoiled white woman’s dog actually, they have nice lives

Most white people associate racism as literally acting out on their white supremacy. Like, I didn’t own slaves or lynch anyone, how can I be racist?

It’s true; in fact the fundamentalist / evangelical method for “reading” the Bible isn’t reading it all, but mining it for quotes. And it’s very much to make it easier for them to justify evil.

LOL. Yes! Basically...

I’ll answer 2 and 4 together, because they’re ultimately related. In terms of the date, if you wanna beat, just say it. Yeah, it’ll cost you some dates, but you’ll have more time to spend with the women who want you.

So the second (and third, see below) time my car was stolen in DC was from my backyard parking space (Petworth, DC back when it was still Petworf, Uptown) and my neighbor spotted it two weeks later literally walking distance from the house. I call the police and tell them, I’ll meet y’all up there. They’re like,…

Do you take Ambien? You could be Sleep Ubering.

So these inconsiderate/ considerate ass thieves parked your shit in a handicap space but didn’t damage your vehicle? What kind of hipster bullshit is that? I KNOW these were hipsters and they had those stupid ass beards with mustache’s with the curled up tips and rolled up skinny jeans on while eating organic yogurt…

I’d be putting this car up for sale on Craigslist ASAP once the insurance stuff is done and using said proceeds to pay down the current car note.

I’ll never understand how such a vanilla-sounding word gets such strong reactions out of people.

When I hear the word ‘moist’ the first thing I think of is cake. Of course I’m a fat guy so cake is normally about 17% of what I think about.

(But not literally though. Please do not stick your dick inside of moist.)

(But not literally though. Please do not stick your dick inside of moist.)

I actually hate the word ‘dank’ more. ‘Dank’ makes me think of a moldy disgusting cellar full of cobwebs and cave crickets, not high quality weed or memes.

Or he didn’t think there was anything to learn from or do better with in the first place. Restraining order? She just didn’t want to talk to me that day.

Goddamn this was a great read.

I wasted a lot of time not believing Maya Angelou’s famous quote: “when someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time.” Similarly, when someone tells you to leave them alone (“I don’t have time for a relationship,” “I’d be a bad boyfriend,” “There’s no hope for us”), you absolutely have to believe them…