This article could be the first in a series, in which Haisley writes about things he doesn’t know about, while insisting his lack of understanding is everyone else’s fault:
“Einstein Invents New Theory to Prop Up University Physics Departments”
“Woman Invents Female Orgasm to Boost Sales of Cosmo Magazine”
“Al Gore…

Still not as impressive as Richie Tenenbaum’s meltdown vs Gandhi

The Australian version of 911? I’m guessing that’s 116.

Spiral cut. Trust me.

A spokesperson for the team said Lealaimatafao had been suspended indefinitely followed today’s arrest

Meanwhile, this sign has survived at least two of the arena’s name changes:

He’s a good tennis man for not falling to the ground like he got shot after the championship point.

Interesting note about Mike Love: He is Kevin Love’s uncle.

Interesting note about Bill Pohlad since this article’s on Deadspin: he, along with his brothers, owns the Minnesota Twins

Thanks but no thanks, Lubbock. I’m much better off getting my medical advice from Doc Emrick.

“Here’s the plan ESPN gave me for a new haircut...and here’s what I am going to do with it.” <rips paper>

Must have been somebody charging the mound.

this actually happened against Shaws team one time

When asked to comment on why they forfeited, a spokesperson for the Rainmen simply said, “Three minutes to Wapner.”

I’m seeing a lot of all-Caps.

If the jerseys are too expensive to tailor, Denmark up the price.

Gonna be a rough Monday for Dad back at his law firm

Hey, I’m “Reader William” who got in touch with Tim and contributed this after seeing his tweet a couple nights ago. If anyone runs into any bugs with this, let me know and I’ll do what I can to update.

Unwatchable? He’s got one hell of a glass house called Traded For Raymond Felton Manor.

First unanimous Deadspin HOF inductee: Drew’s Fucked-Up Shirt That He Actually Wore On National Television