Another high school mean girl, soon will be whining that people are being mean to her.

Becky with the long angel hair?

I like mine on a tortilla. With sour cream and some sort of spiced meat and some grated cheese and a pile of cilantro. Maybe some refried beans if I’m feeling crazy.

I have tried, but I still can’t understand the “I love Bernie, which means I hate Hillary so much I’ll vote for Trump” process.

Good Lord, if you were going to drop her anyway, don’t like her friends, refused to be part of the plannng, and already threw a tantrum, my guess is you only want to go to the wedding to make some kind of point, to hurt her feelings, or to stir up some drama that focuses on you. Do everyone, especially the bride, a…

My husband and I danced to Black or White by Michael Jackson, we’re interracial, and the guests in attendance seemed to be in on the joke, they all joined us on the dance floor.

I guess bc now that there’s lady Ghostbusters all copies of the original movie will be destroyed because obviously both can’t exist

Also, let’s please show Leslie Jones KILLING IT at the premiere (with a little help from Christian Siriano):

Looks like they might be...

She’s scraping out the seed tears before they reproduce and embarrass her greatly in public, always a classy move. Didn’t you finishing school, Visigoth?

I asked a friend to walk me home one night because Women Aren't Supposed To Walk Home Alone. He took this opportunity to hold me down and rape me on my own bed. Somehow still my fault, I'm sure. I was supposed to ask someone to walk me home! But not a rapist! I should have had better judgement! Or whatever.

“You honor, my client should not be sentenced to jail for stealing that car, I’m not saying that car deserved to be stolen, but the care was expensive and nice, and an enticing red color. A young man should not have his life ruined because over a hot red car just left parked in the street.”

If you truly think alcohol is what causes rape, does that not make you some kind of enabler?

YOU JUST EQUATED MY BODY WITH A FUCKING CAR.

But getting drunk doesn’t put us at more risk of being raped. The only thing that increases our risk of being raped is crossing paths with a rapist.

So if you’re the subject of an assault, you're hospitalized, life-threatening injuries, head bloody, money stolen, the police should give you a good lecture on not being so drunk next time, right?

If you got so drunk that a mugger noticed and decided to take advantage of that, a lawyer wouldn’t attempt to use your drunkenness to get the mugger off charges.

One reason we get so annoyed about this is because we can follow all these dumb rules and still get raped. I’ve got friends who’ve been raped drunk. I’ve got friends who’ve been raped sober. I’ve got friends who’ve been raped by strangers. I’ve got friends who’ve been raped by friends. People want to set up all these…

If a guy calls a girl a slut guys have no problem believing him. But if 40 women accuse a guy of being a sexual predator people still don’t believe them.

Because, Clam, they typically tend to demonstrate a complete lack of empathy, compassion, and introspection. You would know this if you followed politics even a bit.