I’m here to tell you that there’s only one klassy way to say Nevaaaahda. You hick town Nevadans don’t have enough class to know how to pronounce your own state. You can’t say Nevada (ad like bad) when surrounded by luxury and beautiful women, I tell you.

I’m sooooooo envious of people who cando the shots. I actually have “call Dr. X to talk about shots again” on my calendar for Friday. I’m a biochemist, so I have designed some protocols that I think might work for me. He said he’d consider/consult with others about two of them, so I’m really hopeful that we might give…

Oh, definitely get thee to an allergist. The vast majority of patients can tolerate the shots and see significant progress after three to five years. I know that sounds like a ridiculously long time, but after the first couple months you’ll most likely be going in just once or twice a month.

My allergist swears that if someone is going to develop weird allergy symptoms, 90% of the time it is a woman in her late twenties to early thirties.

This is the most relatable Pence has ever been for me. Ranting about a children’a movie? We finally have something in common!

Weird question, but are you a woman between 27 and 34?

Yeah, I tested positive to all the environmental allergens as well. Actually went into anaphylaxis this spring when the birch pollen was at its highest (fuck birch, man).

But it really is crazy how many parts of you can be affected by allergies. Who’d have thought pollen hitting your skin could cause hives? Or eating…

Oh, definitely. I was really surprised by a lot of the symptoms I’ve been able to “treat” by eliminating certain foods. For instance, Rye makes me not only feel like I’m dying in general (headache, fatigue, dizziness), but also makes my joints ache a lot. And I’d been eating a sandwich on rye every work day for a…

Thanks for remembering to update! Yeah, allergic rhinitis is definitely a big part of my problems as well but no amount of allergy treatment seems to get me back to 100%. I had to discontinue the shots because I kept going into anaphylaxis, so now I’m just on every available allergy/asthma medication.

I like your thinking, but the printed invitations are for the people who I’m trying to impress. Like work people. Friends get a Facebook invite and have to deal with it!

Why does it say Saturday? Was I high when I ordered these?

Here’s what I chose this year (awkward envelope placement used to obscure my contact info)

I like Papersource. They’re kind of pricey, but they always have something that works for my aesthetic. Plus, the quality is really good. Nobody wants to be sending out flimsy cards!

I embrace the hell out of the good parts of my Southern womanhood, and the occasional monogram is part of it!

Also amazing: the return address embossers. I’m stamping that motherfucker on everything.

My custom Christmas party invitations arrived today and I feel like such a grown up!

Ah, man. I hadn’t seen all the hidden replies and now I’m spiraling in Basic AF territory.

I want all of your belongings to be embroidered with “Classy AF” or “Friendly AF” from here on out.

Speaking of fowl women, have we discussed the glory that is a duck vagina?

More pictures for you!