You’ll shut your mouth about Hizzoner! If this thing ends up being Trump vs Sanders, then as god is my witness I will personally haul Bloomberg’s ass out of Bermuda and hold a gun to his head while he signs every god damned paper required to run for President as an independent. He'd be the only one who could save us.

Remember how Dennis Miller said that this is why he had to become a conservative?

That man was a goddamn national hero who got a bum rap for being a bad politician. Just sayin’.

I dunno. Perot was way too detailed for the current Trump supporters. They’d fall asleep or walk off bored. Charts with numbers don’t do as well as “We’re gonna bomb the hell out of ‘em” with the current Trump supporters.

I think the more apt comparison is Bloomberg, another rich asshole who also doesn’t feel the need to win any primaries to purchase a viable spot in the general.

Even better than Perot’s infomercials was his choice of running mate...

you bastard. take that shit somewhere else. this is a peaceful little town we got here.

“I was asked where I see myself in 5 years.”

Just say “yes” and we can move on.

It's a simple question, Doctor.

“That’s all fine and good....but is it a sandwich?”

Harry Caray, NFL talent scout.

I’m sort of confused if those lawyer quotes are coming from a legal pleading or if they were provided directly to TMZ. Because it sure seems like they’re just quotes given to TMZ, and that makes the complaint that the opposition is inappropriately trying the case through the media a bit self defeating, you know?

Fuck. I need to do more kegels.

Now that would be voting with your vagina!

My Vote, My Choice to do an absentee ballot

I read the essay and was just going to leave a comment complimenting Stassa on it and then click away without getting into the rest of the comments. That was a good plan that I should have followed.

I know of only one way for a feminist to vote: go into the voting booth, select a candidate, squat on the voting machine, and use those strong vaginal muscles to pull that lever.

bless all of you that 100% did not read this essay and yet commented angrily anyway about how you essentially agree with the point of the essay