THIS IS NOT CONTORTION

Okay, but to be fair, this guy makes this face when he’s doing literally anything, including making oatmeal in the morning.

THIS IS NOT CONTORTION THO

“Balance?” Just hold on to something with your other hand!

Neither am I! Just hold onto something with your other hand!

I can’t see for shit without glasses *AND* I’m inflexible. All it takes it holding on to something with your other hand!

“Balancing?” You hold on to something with the other hand!

>salt

Wh... why would you have to bend down? You curl your foot up to your hand.

This comment will never get the stars it deserves, and that makes me sad.

The thing about Chrissy and John is that they’re FUCKING HILARIOUS. Her Twitter account makes me want to be their best friend.

I mean, this is very, very clearly OCD.

I have always been the old men, but without the naked chatter. I’ve simply never given a shit and can’t be arsed to start.

Blanchie, how did I miss this the first time around?

RANDI THAT IS SO FUCKING GREAT

“we are all as happy as we deserve, regardless of our external circumstances” — this is the dumbest fucking thing I’ve read today, and I’ve read a lot of dumb shit.

Wh... why is the headline photo a picture of DC’s Metro PD?

I mean, idk. I kinda want women free no matter whom they marry of their apparently-free-at-the-time will.

I keep trying to explain this to people. They simply don’t get it.

I wish there were some kind of worldwide relocation fund for people who need to get out of countries with laws that criminalize normal human behavior.