I see you shiver with antici

***saves for future Torch articles***

No need to insult vaginas.

Something something always the answer.

Nissan Rogue. My god, I don’t see the appeal. Underpowered, outdated interior, and the epitome of America’s decline into the normalization of crossovers.

“That’s nothing. I once paid for an entire hotel room, you understand, this great, beautiful suite in Moscow — one of the very best suites I’ve been in and I’ve been in amazing places, that I can tell you — and there were two women there with urine running out of their...whatever all over this bed. A lot of people…

Man, that would have pissed me off.

Yay! Another prequel! I hope we find out how he learned to sound like a Krayt dragon! This is a story we need told! I’m excited!

• A cop car that weighs at least 2 tons slams into the tiniest compact that you can currently buy at 104mph.

TAKE YOUR DAMN STAR.

So, Amber was Heard.

One of my favorite Wheeler Dealers episodes was the Z1.

Oh my goddesses, it’s just a remake of the best Star Wars movie.

She’s too big for him?

This is not the face of a Tesla-slayer. Really, it’s almost the face of a Sentra.

Farscape is easily one of the most underrated science fiction shows of the last 20 years. In fact he might have taken more lessons from it on showing how a group of dissimilar people become a family.

I just use the Cooter line from Walmart. I think their liner in RimJob is almost an exact dupe for Mars Van Vooter’s Liquid Canvass.

“Boldly go where no woman has gone before”

The only surprising thing here is that this was written by someone other than David Tracy.

Damn, why is this place not the focus of a 70’s era heist movie.