We call it a song and dance. You don't know the entire story, only what he's told you. He slept with her, she got pregnant, i'm sure it was embarrassing all around. You're there shaming him because he had sex with a "high-school dropout,", so is there any chance in hell that he would admit he had unprotected sex?…

Dude, your friend is totes lying about the condom. But bros before entrapment hos, I guess.

Hold the phone.

I personally keep vitamin c tablets in my car. A 1000% dose can induce miscarriage, usually.

You're incredibly stupid.

Sometimes I'll be driving along and I'll see a cute guy... and then realise I'm near a high school. FUCK.

Holy shit, did you hear President guy of Sauder on CBC this morning? "To be clear, it was an event put on by AMS..."

Here's a plan: find out from your employer, quietly, if there's another placement open somewhere else. See if you can go visit it while your mom is with you; you don't have to tell her why if you don't want to.

Here's a plan: find out from your employer, quietly, if there's another placement open somewhere else. See if you can go visit it while your mom is with you; you don't have to tell her why if you don't want to.

I'm so sorry for your loss. Poor kitty.

Mine is ten. Still can't tie his shoes, hates writing, and can crochet a really long chain, but not much else. I'd say your guy is doing fine.

Argh I just wrote a thing with awesome parental insults and lost it ›:(

What. The. Everlasting. Fuck. I'm so sorry this happened to you. I hope he gets his tie caught in a revolving door.

Thanks very much. I did search, but there's so. much. info. to go through. :)

Seven other guys? Good gracious. Do they *all* pee on the toilet?

Honestly, (and I'm half-ashamed to admit it) sometimes I make stuff up. He's 10 now, so not a lot gets past him, but when he was younger, I'd do it when his questions became really annoying, or when the opportunity was too juicy.

I'm rather new to Jez, and I'm hoping someone can fill me in on why Doug Barry posts ALL THE THINGS on a Sunday or holiday Monday. Are the Jez writers enjoying their weekends? Please tell me that's what they're doing.

HOLY SHIT. I KNOW, RIGHT? I don't even bother having the tv on with him in the room anymore, because he's all "Who is that? Is s/he the actor that was in that show we saw last year? So kid and I were at the store and I was going to get you cottage cheese but they didn't have 2% blah blah blah (ringring) Hello? Oh hey…

Bumbershoot?

I'm comfortable with calling myself a "benevolent misanthrope."