IS THIS THE CUTEST BABY OR WHAT

Shelter Cat Update!

Hey everyone! I’m so glad to be SNS-ing tonight because I’m alive, and home from a week in a local hospital’s ICU! Things looked grim a week ago, when the doctor in the ER thought that I had had not one but two heart attacks, and in any event, I was in heart failure. Right??? Terrifying!

So I’ve got a pretty intense week ahead of me. I’ve had this random, painless lump in my jaw for a few weeks that the drs are now starting to look concerned about. I have to go for a scan on Tuesday and they want a radiologist there in case it’s something nasty.

I’ve thrown up so much in my life and hands down, orange juice is the best thing to throw up. It still tastes like orange juice!

Hi! Hi! Hi! Hi Maria! MARIA!!!! I JUST MET A GIRL NAMED MARIA!!!

I had a woman hurl ableist abuse at me on a bus.

I almost vomited on the Chicago CTA once - I was racing to get home bc I had food poisoning.

Hopefully the OJ-puke just smelled like OJ :) I was once on a subway with a group of young Navy guys toting their mostly-passed-out friend home. He woke up enough to vomit up about a gallon of whatever he had been drinking- I’d guess strawberry margarita by the not-unpleasant smell.

I had a friend who had a drunk guy throw up in her hair on the bus. Any kind of bodily fluid from a stranger on public transport is the worst!

On the train, I started to smell something foul. I glanced towards the back where there was a young woman changing a poopy diaper. Not the greatest situation, but I shrugged it off.

Oh, I actually have a story! While riding on a very crowded commuter train, there was a man with obvious mental problems. He was dressed in an extremely raggedy over coat and carrying a walking stick covered in different colored rags, like what I imagine the bird man in Neverwhere looks like. At first he was just…

Once many years ago I was on the bus home, sitting on the top deck, ( Red bus in England) I was on the back seat and the only other person upstairs was 6 seats in front of me. After a few stops she got up and the bottoms of her shell suit were hanging down enough to see the crack of her ass. She had a smear of…

Holy shit. I’m not even going to bother to tell my story. Pack it up, everyone, this is the winner.

Oooooooh this one is gonna be GOOD!!!!

I was sitting across from an older gentleman with a viking hat on who was eating dried rice from a bag. A rude adolescent at the time, I couldn’t help but watch him, mouth ajar, since we were sitting parallel. He looked me dead in the eye and spit a combination of rice and mucous across the row and into my mouth.

I hear you.

I don’t think I could tell good modeling versus bad.

Nice enough guy, just has a tendency to comb over when not invited.

Well, when you finally score some be sure to cover all the mirrors in your pad before you dose. You DO NOT want to watch yourself throw up.