Holy Crap, my story made the cut! *cradles bouquet of roses and cries off mascara*

I’m so happy my cigarette ash drinking days have finally paid off! This has made my super annoying Friday afternoon at work so much better. 

drink his own semen at a baby shower.

I’m reading Trump On The Couch, and I suspect Dracula was warmer and kinder than Mary Trump

Hahaha I screamed! 

I love how Pitt’s foundation openly admits he was only involved for the first five publicity-seeking minutes, and that’s it.

I had a holiday party with my family today so made some cookies. Okay 5 dozen but whatever.

Shelter Cat Update!

Job update: trying not to go insane from waiting. The hiring manager and pharmacy manager are meeting Monday morning, so I should finally have an answer then. I will hopefully have exciting news to share with all of you next week if I haven’t lost all of my marbles due to a combination of waiting to hear about the job…

Hi kittens! My cat Blanchie had all of her teeth removed in surgery this week, and she’s absolutely great. Woke up from surgery purring and has been a calm, much happier cat now that she’s pain free, for probably the first time in years. I’m so happy the vet checked her mouth at her well visit and found the lesions…

Still haven’t gotten quite everything I had in mind for this month done yet; still feeling fine about it (progress!). Plus, the month is only just past half over, so, arbitrary goal or not, no reason to stress about it.

Ollie has taken to placing his paw in my hand when he’s sleeping. 

Pete is so cute. 

I’m making pho and flourless chocolate cloud cake. The one perk of the shutdown is that my coworker crush is *also* furloughed, and sharing meals just makes good fiscal sense...

Here’s Pete.

I’m sitting here distracting myself while editing the latest episode of my podcast, Boring Books for Bedtime, and fairly tickled pink that it recently hit some milestones in less than 3 months of running.

Wally would make an exceptional emotional support handbag, but alive, this is more like a suicide support animal.

Obligatory Archer

My oldest child once threw up into my mouth when he was about.... Four months old? That was as disgusting as you'd imagine. 

Cannibal Witch and I ate some raw children once. She liked them, but I thought they should have been cooked first.