It’s optional...?

Ugh. My husband loves morning sex, but seriously guys. Morning sex = morning breath. No thanks.

As when one of my dear Facebook friends aptly put it, “When you are the greatest common factor in multiple gun related incidents, you might the one who is wrong.”

I’ll take Dewey Crowe over George Zimmerman any day of the week.

girl needs to enroll there! not just do community service.

I am teaching them the republican ideal of pulling yourself up by your own bootstraps.

My dad was like that. I love brussels sprouts know, but hated them growing up. One time when I was 6 he told me that I wasn’t allowed to leave the table until I had eaten all my sprouts.

My college ex would LITERALLY say: “I can’t eat this, it’s green.”

Thank you so much for this.

My mom tried to run me over with her car at Christmas and I have only spoken to her once since then. And somehow I feel like the piece of shit in this whole situation.

I’d imagine a good parent would tell them something like “I know you don’t want to do this anymore, but a contract is like a promise. They would be disappointed if you didn’t keep your promise, and it would hurt their feelings. After this though, you can certainly choose not to do anymore” or whatever age appropriate…

uhhh 60k ain’t nothing to sneeze at.

I JUST posted this same sentiment. Stuff like this makes me want to slap the people who say there isn’t two Justice systems in this country. One for the rich, one for the rest of us.

to be fair, i have many friends who like to just “play” tinder. so yeah, they are technically just looking too. and are kinda assholes, now that i think about it.

What if you fall in love 36 Chambers style?

FALL IN LOVE WITH THIS ONE QUESTION:

I wonder if all these people regret having kids because they don't LET THEM ALONE for a minute.

I knew it! Reproduction is a trap encouraged only by the most primitive parts of the brain.

Honestly most parents I know IRL, say this stuff to me all the time. That they love their kids, but if they could take it back.... When we tell them we don't want kids, they say, "Good... DON'T DO IT!".