I got up at 5 am to go to yoga today, because I wanted to get a headstart on my resolution, but traffic was bad because the roads were icy. I got there 2 minutes late and they had already locked the door. So, I went back home and ate scrambled eggs in bed. Great start!

Yeah, I find it difficult to believe he would take his wife hunting with him. I believe that constitutes Man Time.

This guy I dated briefly in college called me a gold-digger. I was like, "dude, you work in the cafeteria. If I were a gold-digger I'd be dating your dad."

Ohhhh, I thought he meant "pick" as in "choose." Like, the wife selects which ducks her husband should shoot. Which sounded like it might be difficult/not conducive to hunting.

I learned the hard way that my dog has a thing for furry scarves. Please don't hump things that are tied around my neck!

I have two male dogs and my mom's dog is ALWAYS trying to lick their penises. Moms, tell your dogs not to lick your kids' dogs' penises!

What?! I've never heard of that before. I've never had my name on my mailbox.

Yeah, they really aren't helping their "cause"

I get SO much of my neighbors' mail. The other day I had like five pieces of mail that didn't belong to me. It makes me wonder how much of mine is ending up in someone else's box.

Ooo, fancy! Yeah, boys dress-up clothes are pretty lame. I had a few parents ask me if they should be "concerned." Dude, your kid's 3. You're reading way too much into this. I would just be relieved that my kid found a way to entertain himself for a few hours.

That outfit... so horrible! I am so ready for this 90's revival thing to die. You will look back on this crop top with brightly-colored baggy pants thing and cringe. Trust me.

My friend's husband is from LA. They recently moved to Colorado Springs, and he thinks a great way to fit in is by wearing cowboy boots and giant Western-themed belt buckles with every outfit. You should see his "going out" outfit...

Maybe I'm Swiffering wrong, but it doesn't usually pick up that much dirt. I usually end up dumping soapy water on the floor and scooting around the kitchen with a towel on my foot. Martha Stewart I am not.

I dunno, my grandpa uses a cane and he still manages to do all sorts of dangerous things around the house (climbing on rickety old ladders, walking out onto the roof to clear leaves out of the gutters, etc.) That cane can also be used as a prop to balance yourself or swipe something hard-to-reach off a shelf. We…

I ALWAYS yell at the TV when he says that. Gee, Morty, if only she had someone who could assist her!!!!!

I actually had a little "talk" with my dad a few years ago about this. My mom flipped out because he left his dirty dishes in the sink and he didn't see "what the big deal was." I had to take him aside and explain that she was annoyed because she does lots of work around the house that he doesn't really notice. A…

Ha! I have quite a few pictures of my brother wearing my dance recital costumes and Barbie wig. I have a feeling there was some coercion involved, though.

I used to work at a daycare and there were several little boys who used to duke it out over whose turn it was to wear the Tinkerbell dress.

I gave my niece a bunch of my "real" Polly Pockets. She's old enough not to eat them.

I had that one, too! It lit up! So cool