No need. I work in the UK, the party is from lunchtime until 5. It's bring your own booze, there's some more booze coming as a courtesy, there is a grocery store on site that's running booze specials plus there are three pubs on our campus. I will not coherent until next Sunday.

a nice older lady with more money than a Republican senate campaign

So I like to say I have bad luck, but the older I get, the more I realize I have the WEIRDEST luck.

My mortifying holiday party experience ended up changing my life completely. It was my first job out of college, it was in my field of choice and I hated it. I was there about 5 months when the holiday party came around. I also happened to be in a horrible marriage, we were young and totally stupid. By the time my…

I am so sorry, that sounds awful. But also this: "After I do that, suddenly I'm not drunk anymore! I feel great! So I drink another 1 or 8 glasses of red wine" is one of the funniest sentences I have ever read.

In the late 90's, I worked a shall-remain-nameless global bank in Sydney. This particular year, the xmas party was held in the very opulent ballroom of a luxe hotel nearby. The bank had had an extremely good year, and the party was off the hook.

This was a grand opening/holiday party at a high end tub and tile showroom I was the receptionist for when I was 18. It was my third day.

You are a keeper. I hope your husband realizes how lucky he is.

I set a supervisor's coat on fire and woke up in the bed of one of the dudes from Vampire Weekend (he was on tour and not present).

I was in the UK at Christmas a few years ago, and I remember hearing on the news how the pubs would be closing at staggered (heh) hours because the London metro police were concerned if office parties were all finishing at the same time there couldbe riots in the streets. In the morning, I remember going to a cash…

Well, my partner's office party was two nights ago. I was "that person" at the party who drank too much and made a fool of herself. In the many months of pregnancy/breastfeeding, I have apparently completely forgotten about the most important rule of holiday party, "moderation." Acted a damn fool, hit on the hot new…

This isn't me, but it's a great holiday party story so I'll tell it anyway.

I used to work for a Big Box Wholesale Company in Colorado. One year they decided to join three warehouses together and have the holiday party at what was Invesco Field (now Sports Authority at Mile High I think?). My fiance (now husband) does not like big group parties, so he decided to pregame before the party,…

The best story I have is actually about someone else.

This isn't holiday, since our holiday party is tomorrow, so I'll check back in if necessary. We had our summer party in August....We rented out a super nice restaurant with a planned 4 course menu and open bar for 3 hours. I think a couple of my co-workers took the open bar as a challenge to see how much they could…

I worked for an EXTREMELY disreputable publishing company that was constantly being sued for sexual harassment, and our holiday parties (really, all parties) were pretty legendary bacchanals, so I was not super thrilled to have to plan one. I picked a lovely hotel bar near the office, we arrive around happy hour about…

Sex on a folding chair may be the most unsafe sex you can participate in.

As an INTERN, I accidentally blacked out at last years work party. It was not a normal black out however, it was a sad, sad, "hold me while I cry," black out. My memory fades out somewhere after I was taking shots of limoncello and tequila (and calling all of the founding partners "f***ing pussys" when they wouldn't…

I've only been to one, 4 years ago. It was my first year at this place, and no one told me anything about what to expect, so I went home after work and changed into a nice pair of jeans and a pretty blouse figuring it'd be pretty chill. It turns out it was a formal affair. Not quite black-tie, but butler-passed…

Does getting drunk at your husband's boss's boss's boss's house at an elegant party count? And then drunkenly slur that I wanted to have a baby and that 'my eggs need frying. ' and then talking about about beautiful I am? When we went home, I vomited and cried (of course). My poor husband. He asked me the next day if…