it depends on several things: where you are in your current contract, years of service, accolades like all nba, how many cups of coffee you can drink without murdering someone, how many times you’ve driven the autobahn, if you can parallel park downtown in Seattle, how long you can hold your breath, it’s all right…

The Bills once being Super Bowl contenders is like the Republican Party once championing black civil rights: a historical fact that seems like a myth and also something that will never, ever happen again. 

How many more have to die before we finally do something about Sean Penn?

That bus is a sad monument to a sad story.

This is what the photographer walked into:

that’s a jerk-off station

ok, but in my defense, I’m an idiot

“Oh sure, he can call them savages, but when I do it...”

“Fucking get better...” Boone yelled this at his anterior cruciate ligament years ago. It didn’t work.

This is Boone’s managerial equivalent of The Homer, I think. Holy shit what a display. What a fountain of memes.

I remember back in 2002 when Mike Piazza had to tell us all he was a savage in the box.

You know, Boonie is on to something here. For as Rousseau said in his Discourse on Inequality, “In fact, the real source of all those differences, is that the savage lives within himself, whereas the citizen, constantly beside himself, knows only how to live in the opinion of others.” That is, in “the box” the batter…

Even higher if the roommate is alone.

Does an Austrian guy call round two of sex “putting another shrimp on the barbie?”

Jokes on you. This was an inside hit by your therapist to get you to come in and talk about it.

I think “Roommate while you’re in the room trying to sleep” deserves a separate, higher entry.

Sports should just have like a Hulu subscription tier where you just pay extra and skip the Anthem and “God Bless America.” I would pay it. 

They were unapologetically American. Brash and confident. They came in as the favorite and they didn’t try to downplay that fact with an “Aww shucks we’re just happy to be here and we’re gonna try real hard.” attitude. They owned that and then danced on the graves of anybody who dared doubt them. And it was fucking…