Sherman: "They about to try me."

"I knew Josh was hurting just as much as I was because Jerry was his brother. If being mad at Josh would bring Jerry back, then I'll be mad at Josh, because I want my son, but then what do you give to the rest of your family if you're bitter. So, I had no problem with him coming to be at the memorial service with us,…

Also, I was on LogMeIn this weekend (Java out of date, Grandma couldn't play Yahoo bridge) and there was NO notification... now I only have a week to go and convert everything?

fuck my life... just fuck it.

See, back in my 215 card days, I found that no matter what the strain was, it would inevitably lead to melted cheese and naps.

Who the fuck has the Shazam app in their dock?

Stem cells? I don't think so. Here's the real magical elixir:

Considering the possible ramifications of going to a movie in Colorado, the first person I'd invite is my shooting guard.

[coach throws kid at couch]

I wish my dinner table had spontaneous shanties.

Drew has forgotten Munchak multiple times before, probably because he is devoid of anything of interest on a completely forgettable team. Mike Munchak could be the guy that brings Aflac duck into the locker room at halftime and no one would know the difference.

Let's see, looking at the film for the last few hours I can see they usually put up a pretty solid wall with their front four, but they can be exploited further down the field. Should definitely run a guy straight up the middle early and often to open up the defense.

Peyton: Ok, the call is 342 X-wing Y-curl beta. Break!

"(I should say that I haven't seen either film in the much-derided 48fps, for which I consider myself very lucky.)"

Or you could just restore from Titanium Backup

Ray Hudson is still cleaning the semen off his ceiling.

He'd be suspended for a decade if he pulled that celebration in the NFL.

I went to Alabama and was having sex with my distant cousin for three months before we realized it when we both got invited to the same family reunion. We kept boning till she moved far away. Roll Tide.

Conversely, less-confident Dolphins fans were wise to go with removable Henne tattoos.

Friend: Jesus, is that permanent?