You want the fucking primaries anywhere else, by all means, take them... As an Iowan nowhere near Steve King’s congressional district anymore, I’m already tired of the political ads, and we’re still a year or more away from the election. Now we’re getting the “medicare for all is socialism” advertisements on all the…

What cepaig stated. I’m strongly looking at Castro for a cabinet position or vice-presidential pick for a few different front-runners.

Their tracks cut the entire way through your auditory system...

If you look at his filmography, it really isn’t that weird of a departure for him.

Whichever of the Gizmodo staffers run the tomato face accounts, just fucking stop. You have enough Russian trolls diluting the discourse on this site without this idiot shill.

But you’re going to want that lemonade after eating a corn dog or pork chop on a stick...

At this point, any small airport tower/hangar LEGO set is just LEGO Wings.

At this point, it’s definitely Jackson, and at that point it’s a well, this is a shit sandwich situation, no matter where I take a damn bite...

Tough pick this week between Kate and Kevin. If Kevin would have nabbed Starburst in an earlier round combined with the Sour Patch Watermelon, it wouldn’t even be a close race, though...

Look, if the folded pizza is not enclosing a taco enclosed in a gordita wrapped in a blueberry crepe and then battered and deep fried, what the hell are you even doing, Papa Johns? You would be bringing us further from Taco Town’s glorious light!

I really hope the Ivanka was a Freudian slip to get people to have to pour bleach into their own skulls... Melania is his wife. Ivanka is his daughter. 

This is what kills me, though, is Beto is going to ride the coattails of this tragedy further in the primary when all sizzle, no steak should have been out of the race by now.

More likely this story came down from their new corporate overlord and his predilection of hiring former employees from Playboy and Forbes companies over competent females for those higher positions in the media empire.

Yeah, it’s the classic Streissand Effect.

Beto shouldn’t even be on the main debate stages, either. His first dreadful debate appearance should have been the nail in the coffin that stated almost winning Texas against Cruz doesn’t mean you’re going to get the approval of 49 other states, nor some other battleground states.

We’re at a point where we have five…

I thought it was firmly established that Andrew Jackson was our most racist president until the bloated pumpkin started rotting in the White House... Oh, you mean to tell me the president who started the “war on drugs” did so because he was more racist than previously assumed?

Delaney’s campaign was dead before this debate. This was just Grandpa Bernie finally pulling the plug on his life support.

So, roughly around the time Judge John Hodgman weighed in on this debate, the council started seeing an increase in calls on “is a hot dog a sandwich?”...

Good riddance to the asshole who helped propagate the troll problem on GMG sites because he couldn’t take being dunked on for his shit takes and purged some of the best commenters for telling him what a piece of shit that take was.

Really depends on the restaurant in Iowa. My local pub makes a breaded tenderloin more similar to Indiana’s in thickness and then tops that bad boy with a range of toppings. My favorite is the Midwest tenderloin, which slathers on barbecue sauce, bacon, a slice of cheddar with lettuce, tomato, onion and pickle. If I…