Well, to eat a banana with utensils, you prepare it.

Okay America, this guy wants to pimp out Big Bird.

Uh, isn't that why one raises the seat?

1. Kotaku is based in the US, as is most of its readership.

There's a whole world outside of America you know...

Does it make me a bad person that sometimes I honestly wish I had something wrong with me, some sort of semi-serious illness or a particularly bad case of food poisoning or perhaps a brush with necrotizing fasciitis, just something so that for once, I could be the sick one being doted on by my partner?

I'm from the Peg.

Honestly, just tell him to Get The Fuck Over It®.

Why not just snag some regular ol' twist ties from your local grocery store? They're free, reusable, flexible.

If this guy wants to see what a huge ass looks like, he need only check out a mirror.

Who says the bugs actually hit earth with an asteroid?

It not only looks exactly like a sketch from SNL, it feels exactly like a sketch from SNL. It looks like it was filmed with budget smaller than an episode of ALF.

You know what makes this trailer so magical?

It's so damn refreshing to see actual sets and locations.

The article doesn't actually say that. According to this link he just "donates" into a vessel, then the women come to his house to pick it up and inseminate themselves.

So if he just had sex with them, everything would be cool as far as the gov't is concerned?

Wouldn't the cards have warned you about such an unfathomable thing?

Oh but then that would spoil the secret!

I just created the absolute best pork chops I have ever tasted. I literally chewed on the bone until all the flavour was gone. My dog made a huge puddle from salivating over the bone when I gave it to her. It was sex in pork form.

The "size" of a bird usually means its wingspan. So these birds have big bodies for their wingspan.