Well, since all people are equal, it should be quite unnecessary to dumb down and "target" commercials at ethnicities.

Dear Gawker Media:

I found the WW was one of those games where the bad parts were bad and the good parts were fantastic.

Okay, what I want to know is who does a load of laundry every day?

The fact that it's in Psychology Today makes me pre-emptively call bullshit.

Obviously the man still pays, because he's buying the food for you to cook for him in the kitchen. Later, you can thank him by accepting his seed and giving him a son to carry on his legacy. Then, you won't have to worry about going out for dinner because you'll be busy taking care of the child. It's really win-win…

I believe in going dutch on bills, except for dessert. Dessert is always my treat.

Polaroids are so much more personal, and in the end, safer.

"Fortunately, they also share mammal's terrible fear of water, hence there are no mammals that live exclusively in water or mammals that spend long periods of their lives in water"

Oppression Olympics ho!

Hold your damn phone horizontally!

Is there a superhero that doesn't punch people?

Cancer demons.

When I was 9, I wanted to eat pizza every day for every meal, and not go to school, and play video games until 2 in the morning.

Geez, who stands like that? With their chest and ass pointed towards the camera, twisting their spine and raising one leg?

"Like me or hate me, as long as you pay attention to me! Hey, look at me!"

Doesn't seem that well put-together to me.

I love Cheesy Poofs;

If it's natural gas, you WILL know the smell when it hits you. It's rotten eggs, it's awful.

When you whip people up into a witch hunt, they start seeing witches everywhere.