I definitely make a deliberate effort to not sound like a hillbilly when I’m teaching (And I’m about as white as they come, doesn’t mean I use “proper” English when I’m back with my family or friends).

Kids don’t seem to take the Appalachian accent too seriously.

They always freak out midway through the semester when…

-1 is when the machines achieve control of the machine because I’m too busy texting to pay any attention to the road...

Her boss is kind of a douche, but she doesn’t seem nearly as clueless as our intrepid author makes out.

I looked it up, and you might have this word wrong. Sound bytes consist of 8 sound bits. Did you mean sound bits?

It’s funny you say that, because something about the proportions (especially in that “family photo” really reminds me of the Huayra.

Dumpsterfyre :I feel like the world missed an opportunity here.

It would appear that they’re all dorm mates at Northeastern and members of a collective they refer to as “Sthacks.”

No, the group was not created by the author.

This kind of makes sense. There’s something about Scientologist eyes that you immediately notice, and Moss has definitely got it.

Oh man, there’s nothing in the world worse than a treacherous automobile. I’m glad you were OK and managed to find something better, LeonZero.

There was a brief affair with General Motors through graduate school, but as soon as I got out, I couldn’t help but go back...

Not to star your unpleasant experiences with the car, but I hope you have some good memories, as well! :)

There she is!

I had a 1998 Ford Taurus. After a bad divorce in 2009, my parents sold it to me after my (former) wife took our X5.

Mechanics insisted she was on her last legs for the last 150k miles that I owned her, but mechanically I never had a problem. (I ended up selling her to family in need shortly after she hit 300k, and to…

It occurs to me that for a company desperately trying to prove the badassery of their horned monster mobile, this Automotive News story is the greatest free publicity they could’ve hoped for.

Dear Jalopnik editorial board,

Breaking from Automotive News: ‘Poor People Shouldn’t Have Fast Cars: General harrumphing and monocle-adjusting at 11.’

I’ve never noticed that disclaimer here! This does raise questions, though. Are editorial and advertising the same division?

I’ve never noticed that disclaimer here! This does raise questions, though. Are editorial and advertising the same…

Playing devil’s advocate here, but we’ve spent this guy’s entire life teaching him to hit people harder and better (whatever that means) than anybody else. We celebrate him and offer him millions of dollars a year to go hit people. No real emphasis on anything other than hitting people.

“The combination of cheese and diesel fuel made for a pretty hot fire.”

Add some ground horsemeat to that mix and we’ve got ourselves a new Taco Bell special!

Oh good! Based on the franchise’ current content, I can only assume we’ll be seeing this guy in 4k?