Cold tires and 1.5 psi off.  We all know why...

Crazy I know, Indycars are almost as slow as the Williams

Don’t eat at Chipotle.  

“There’s less rules than on planes, and nobody gets dragged off through the aisle like on a plane. People have more time to go nuts and do crazy things.”

So it’s still got a quarter tank left from the original fill-up?

Since when are pigs considered humans? They’re farm animals. 

Citation needed

I was already 20 when Ichiro joined MLB and I think I’d thought I was years past the part of my life where a professional athlete could ever be the kind of immortal, larger-than-life figure that, say, Michael Jordan or Lawrence Taylor or Martina Navratilova had seemed to be when I was a kid. But Ichiro was—and in lots…

Ichiro is my favorite player who has never played for my team and it’s not even close.

What if I mix the SSB with alcohol? Surely this is a two wrongs make a right situation!

overqualified, thank you for your interest

You make a really good argument. On the other hand, schadenfreude. 

Why is he suing Devin Nunes’ Cow? Is he saying he is the cow? Shouldn’t it be his cow suing instead? What about his cows rights? Devin Nunes is Bovinygnist!

At least they both have an engine from the same family, so it wouldn’t be that blasphemous.

Well, he did almost write her off...

Black box recordings from the Lion Air flight show this cycle repeated 21 times, with the captain eventually attempting to pull the plane’s nose back up with force before the plane dived into the sea.

This is what happens to a Mustang when it is made to do “high-performance” maneuvers near a crowd that it is not allowed run over/devour. It commits suicide because its population-culling purpose remains unfulfilled.

Goddamn, man. This being Deadspin, I want to make a joke...but I just can’t; nothing about child abuse is humerus.

When a drive-thru worker doubled as tech support.