To the ridiculously sensitive Chinese in Communist China, the Dalai Lama is Osama bin Laden plus Satan plus Saddam Hussein all rolled into one super evil dude. I’m not kidding.

I think that move is called The Nunes.

I mean, I won’t say no to beef, especially Kobe. However, after copious amounts of beer and sake, some perfectly cooked chicken tail is about as good for significantly less.

If it’s any consolation, the news Washington was shutting down a Wall no doubt spiked Trump’s blood pressure to dangerous levels.

I HATE THAT KID

Trump is the kid who always hit the reset button on the Super Nintendo right before you beat him at Street Fighter 2.

All Australians are unable to shoot thanks to Port Arthur.

I assume we can look forward to Penn State erecting a statue in honor of Simon soon.

Trade him to Golden State for Durant and Draymond.

No, you didn’t chip in, you get Honeydew

“I just signed your death warrant.”

What I did in the state cases was medical, not sexual, but because of the porn I lost all credibility.

We were all born again after that dunk.

It’s not... not the trip I was referring to.

Check is in the mail Alex. Thanks again.

You know what else builds character? Criminal charges for assault.

Labrador retrievers?

Rockets historically don’t perform well when confronted with a Challenger.