I only believe in the Constitution when it conforms to my personal world view. As such, I am against the 6th, 7th, 8th, 9th, 13th, 14th, 16th, and 19th Amendments in their entirety, and the 1st, 2nd, 4th, 5th, and 15th Amendments being granted to non-white folk.

P.S. Thank you for your 18 years of hard work on behalf of the kiddos.

Most of u know that I have been a special needs teacher/administrator for nearly 18 years, the only job I have ever known. Excuse me now, there is a huge lump in my throat and I’m sobbing as I write this. Of the hundreds of children with special needs that I have worked with, I can tell you that every single one of…

That gif is horrifying, but I can’t look away. It’s gonna get real weird in a second when someone walks past my desk.

I don't know what's hotter; my mixtape or this take.

Playing college football is a privilege, not a right. If you can’t have the integrity to avoid illegally purchasing pencils for school, then you can’t be trusted to risk your long term health for the profit of your institution.

+1 yard

Eh, I'm sure when the big moment comes the Seahawks will probably pass.

it is the 15th anniversary of the September 11th attacks on New York and Washington

In that case, great! The Ice Bucket challenge raised quite a bit of money and awareness, and there have been some pretty serious breakthroughs in ALS research because of that.

You deserve this for wearing a Mets shirt to work.

Smoking weed made someone drive fast?

Maybe if you can’t trust a person in their 20s to, literally, survive without your constant attention, you should reconsider whether or not to give that person millions of dollars.

#TheCupboardIsBear

My parents visited me this weekend and I had to listen to my dad talk about how Hillary will be in prison. For what, no one is sure but she is definitely on her way there and probably even before the election.

Trump hates babies for 2 reasons.

Maybe it’s not normal behavior to you, but I talk and laugh to myself all the time. I don’t use a British accent, no, but only because mine SUCKS.

What that lady in the photo is wearing is almost exactly what I wear to the beach, except my outfit is called “swim tights” and “rash guard,” not “burkini.” And I don a floppy hat instead of the hair wrap. Why? Because I have very fair skin that fries in the sun. I tend to cover up entirely if I’m spending any real…

Next time film it and send it to me.