hey, if you’re living with your mom the least you can do is tip her from time to time.

I don’t tip them unless they hand feed it to me.

To the people already thinking about posting “tipping is optional, get a better job if you don’t like it,” I’d like to give you a hearty and preemptive: go fuck yourself. You’re a sociopathic scumbag, and nobody likes you or gives a flying fuck what you think.

It’s convenient that they now also wear bright red hats.

And the Mets thought that giving up 6 runs in the 10th inning would be enough to earn the highest embarrassment of the day. Foiled again 

Well nobody else has said it but I will. Not one, but TWO mouth breathers filming vertically. You know, if you stop posting these people might stop doing it. Rewarding bad behavior only encourages it. 

She didn’t hear directly from the company until almost 12 hours later, at 12:34 p.m. on Thursday.

The XFL doesn’t have to worry about any players taking a knee during the anthem because most of their players are so old and injured that if they took a knee they wouldn’t be able to get up and play

Take off covers, breaks tabs on said cover, never puts cover back on.  

I wanted to slam my head against the table when the commander-in-cheeto was tweeting about using firefighting drop-planes to fight the blaze. You don’t need my 8 years as a firefighter to have the common sense to realize what kind of damage that much mass does to a structure. Not to mention, there is a reason why you…

At least it won’t get confused with a Buick Skylark.

Fuck these guys.  I’ve been in the restaurant industry for 18 years.  Processing fees are part of the cost of doing business.  You build it into your business plan, you don’t make the customer pay for it separately.

Ya, but it can only be for them and it needs a different name. Like Patriot Refund.

They actually call it the Space Transportation System... it’s us civilian assholes that flippantly refer to it as the “Space Shuttle.”

All 372 of the 250 produced showed up to the 100th anniversary of the 911.  

I quit 1.5 seasons ago and feel my decision vindicated with every recap I read. I used to be a massive fanboy and I’m not even mildly interested anymore.  That has never happened with any other TV series I’ve loved...ever.  So sad.

All I know is my car gets forty rods to the hogshead and that’s the way I likes it

I swear officer, nothing but sweet sweet diesel in those tanks and I dont think the fumes are good for dogs. I just don't trust the Mexican fuel so you know... big tanks sos I don't have to fill up on the other side of the wall.

Wait, wait, wait. You’re telling me. YOU ARE TELLING ME. That an issued piece of US military equipment doesn’t work properly in actual field conditions? How dare you. HOW DARE YOU, sir, besmirch the good name of...

It’s the Kelly Blew Book price!