Any dude who asks me to close my eyes and then tickles me in the ribs, can explain what happened to his dick at the hospital.

Hard agree. He was great— I picked him for the first impression rose in fantasy— and he gets dropped while TICKLEMONSTER and The Fucking Waboom Dude get to stay? I understand that the latter is 100% a producer plant, but Jesus, come onnnnn. Also, I like Josiah as of now, but I think cray or not, he might be too…

A few thoughts:
-GODDAMN, Rachel, you are the whole package if not several packages, and probably none of these dudes are good enough for you
-I liked Kenny a lot tho, he seemed very genuine and kind
-Josiah’s corny jokes had me slapping my bf on the arm and going “SEE YA LATER, LITIGATOR! GET IT! BECAUSE THEY’RE BOTH…

“I love to enjoy a refreshing Coca-Cola in between tweets making fun of victims of terrorist attacks. Click link in bio to donate to my GoFundMe, as I will never be employed again, and use code IAMAPIECEOFCATSHIT to receive up to a 3% match on your donation from ISIS.”

LOVE IS DEAD

Mike Pence can only achieve orgasm while fully clothed and reading this book.

apparently something about being a white supremacist also makes one want to spray tan oneself the color of a fucking yam...

“Would the student body have allowed a black student body president to be disqualified on anonymous charges of voter intimidation?”

Um... YEAH? Yes, definitely, if they broke the fucking rules that govern the student body elections? When a Republican doesn’t get their way, something must be wrong. Eyerolling forever.

Wonder if he wore a nametag. If so, share his first name, ladies! I’m sure the Internet could find him relatively quickly and ensure that he’s out of the service industry for good. If I were a restaurant owner, I’d sure want to know if the person I’m interviewing is the soulless shitweasel who previously asked a table…

Right?? Like... Why would I use... A piece of cotton stuffed in a cardboard sleeve... When *actual dildos* are readily available?? SO confused 🤔

Oh god, I saw a “dudes ask women questions!”-type column once where one of the questions was “don’t you have an orgasm every time you put in a tampon?” IF ONLY, SIR. IF. ONLY.

“have u ever wanted to play with a tampon going in n’ out of ur vag?”

Squirrelfrand, you can bet your sweet beThinx’d ass that I have not!

Yep, those two things are both crapshoots for me too! And that doc reminds me of one I consulted with for my endometriosis, who who told me it would get better “after my first child”. Thanks bud, for deciding that a) I’m having kids and b) apparently I’m having more than one?! Needless to say, I did not select him as…

So sorry you have to deal with this too! I think I have a relatively mild case, having read about how awful it can be for others, but it’s still hard/painful when it flares.

That’s amazing! My Nana and my aunt are both nurses, and came to me separately to recommend this stuff. I have on and off weeks with bladder pain, but this week has sucked. I’m going to look into it today.

I’ve had several people recommend this to me and I definitely need to start taking it. Glad to read yet another endorsement!

Jesus Christ, this is horrifying. I have a chronic bladder condition (IC) that I suspect contributed to recurring UTIs when I was in college and thus taking absolute shit care of myself. I haven’t had one in 2+ years now (knock on wood) but I still remember the uniquely awful pain. Bladder problems suck.

What a snowflake! Get over it, Sphincter Boy!

Panburger Partner made me choke on my lunch. omg.

hard fucking pass. it’s shitty enough to exist in this fucking nightmare, much less try to enjoy it as fiction. byeeeeeeeee.