I’m trying to picture my own personal, non-lipoed, non-spray-tanned, non-celebrity body in this monstrosity and I feel physically ill. Possibly the least flattering cut in existence.

It’s so bad, and the outfits are even worse. If I wanted to look like a Capri Sun that damn badly, I’m sure I could figure out a way to do it for less than $7,000 (or however much one of these monstrosities would cost.)

“for the makeup, I’m going for a ‘took 6 shots of vodka, forgot they were wearing red lipstick, and sucked face with some random dude at the bar for 3 hours’ kind of look. if you don’t have time to do that, just draw all over their faces with Sharpie.”

That’s odd- “Tortilla Coast” sounds like a place that most Republicans would be happy to avoid!

I can’t even get squishy, size-adaptable earbuds to stay in my ears during exercise. These look like my worst nightmare.

0/10, would not purchase for $715 or even $59.90.

“Could be anybody in this township or the Democratic party. When you’re running for township committee in Jersey, these people do anything to try to smear you,” he said.

Ah, yes, the hotly-contended and incredibly well-known political race for township committee in Jersey. Sure to attract the attention of hacktivists…

This, but with the added complication that I look like a crazy person in aviators. Rayban Wayfarer size/shape at the absolute smallest, bigger whenever possible. My current pair are probably this big but without the cat-eye detailing (which, honestly, I also like.)

These comments are so fun! I was named after a famous singer from the 70s/80s, and there were two girls in my middle/high school with the same name. I didn’t like it when I was younger, but I didn’t like anything, so, grain of salt. I do like it now. Also, my mom based my middle name off of her midwife’s name, which I…

duuuude I bought the high-waisted bright blue leggings as soon as the line came out and they are AMAZING for running, yoga, and doing nothing. I want every other pair of leggings! also trying to convince myself that the bodysuit is something I would/could ever wear.

I didn’t read “Eat Pray Love” but I've always assumed the plot was basically this.

Jesus Christ. This is so awful. “Don’t look too close, everything will be alright” is apparently the fucking default mindset when women are being hurt.

Exactly. Torture and kidnapping are, apparently, just new line items on the “things you shouldn’t do to women unless they’re married to you, then it’s fine, because vows and blah blah blah” list.

You see, it wasn’t REAL kidnapping, because they were married! Probably just a silly, marital misunderstanding.

Why

Would.

What a fucking disgusting, tone-deaf waste of hair dye. I hope she never works again once Dump stops pretending he actually wants to be president.

-How to Talk to a Woman Who is Currently Undergoing An Exorcism

I have an acquaintance on Facebook who constantly posts anti-vaxxer bullshit (“IF VACCINES WORK SO WELL, WHY DO YOU CARE IF *MY* KID ISN’T VACCINATED?!?!”) including offering screenings of Vaxxed at her home. She almost always ends these posts with “Have you taken advantage of your RIGHT to be INFORMED yet?!? :)“

DEF putting this in my personal Insult Bank for later use.