WAMBURGER AND FRENCH CRIES. this is the best thing i will see all day.

the picture of him with that smug, shit-eating grin, in the context of this story, makes me totally fucking nauseous.

“you guys, this is really unfair. think about how hard it will be for me to get standup gigs in the future :( "

Exactly. This douche saw the phrase “due process” one time, thought to himself “Hey, that sounds like it applies to my current situation!", and pulled it out of his asshole to wave around in a Facebook post. Pathetic.

and now, a celebratory reading from 1 Philippians by Miss Philippians.

just howled at my desk. thanks for this.

“(while I’m jerkin' it)"

omg you're perfect

“you’re cute for a peasant with a big nose, what's up?"

A true wealth of bro vs fam knowledge. Thanks, prof!

ah, 4chan. sounds perfectly on par for this humorless sentient turd! (also, thank you for the explanation, I am just as not-cool as I thought)

I’ve always thought of it as like a plural of “bro”? I’m not hip either, so I could be wrong, but I know that tacking it onto the end of a tweet to someone who thinks you’re an idiot is definitely also wrong.

oh definitely. Google game weak af.

moments before the Twitter exchange shown above, Shkreli reportedly conducted frenzied Google searches for "do the kids and teens still use apostrophes or are they not cool anymore" and “what is the correct usage of the phrase ‘fam’”

Actual exhibit presented by the defense:

BUT THINK ABOUT THE TOLL THAT BEING A COMPLETE PIECE OF SHIT MUST TAKE ON ONE'S HEALTH!

typical woman, amiright????

for that matter, if he's SoOoOo fuckin' fragile, he should've broken a damn hip during his "fall".

ohhhh shit, just remembered there's a holiday potluck this afternoon. solved and solved. #ThanksOpaqueSoloCups

waaaaahhhhhh I love dis face!!! my dog’s ears do the same thing, too cute.