All the internets, they are yours.

Biggest boner killer? Not reading. I'm with John Waters on this one. We may like different books/authors (the Boy Heathen and I only share a few favorite books) but not knowing about huge books? Unforgivable. I went out on a date with a guy I thought I really liked. He was GORGEOUS and funny and we liked the same…

"We view eyewear as sculptures that attract people who are ready for a strong relationship with themselves."

When does Rick Reilly have time to play softball?

Arizona residents begging the government to allow people from other countries to stick around? Now there's a twist.

*reads from a well-worn prepared statement*

Fine. Is this better? And will I need to be in Manhattan? Cause it would take some time to get there.

Hiphopcracy is what the Deen-bots and the like fear most in all the world. And the election of Barack Obama? Tots harbinger, dude.

Legitimate audible guffaw.

Good PR job, Paula. I definitely think you're less of an asshole now.

So... gay marriage is like a modern Jesus, that will absolve us of our sins? OK. Fair enough. Not sure how it works, but as a Jew I barely understand how Jesus works either.

I'm mostly offended by her writing and blog design.

Abstinence only education, everybody!

No, silly. But everyone knows that cabbages do.

Who delivers baby storks, any way?

I'd like to think that whoever asked this had money riding on the answer, and I'd further like to think they lost.

That was pretty bad. I wonder how long it'll take for the campaign to say they weren't responsible, that they were "hacked" or some nonsense.

Osteoporotic?

#spayD12