Are you asking me for a challeeeeEEEEENGE?!?

Thank you! You've filled out nicely too!

Get on the wood-davers train, here goes the wood-davers train! It's takin' off! It's a new century!

The A.V. Club:

Hey kid! Wanna smoke some candy with me?!

If I'm allowed to pick from the whole Chicago area, I'll go with Bill Murray. If I'm limited to my little suburb, well, The Plain White Ts are kind of the only option.

Oh man, so tempting! But no.

I like to think that even if I was a conservative, I'd be offended by such shallow, ignorant, and illogical arguments. But who knows? Conservatives these days seem to have no intellectual standards at all; they'll listen to anyone who tells them what they want to hear. If they didn't, half their pundits would be out…

How did that lion get on the roof?

OK, calling people c***s: bad. Telling people to kill themselves: also
bad. But for God's sake, if bragging about losing a bunch of weight is
getting dragged into the Problematic Zone now, I give up. Saying that
fat people shouldn't be ridiculed and attacked is one thing, and I
agree, but, Instagram lady, if someone…

OK, calling people c***s: bad. Telling people to kill themselves: also bad. But for God's sake, if bragging about losing a bunch of weight is getting dragged into the Problematic Zone now, I give up. Saying that fat people shouldn't be ridiculed and attacked is one thing, and I agree, but, Instagram lady, if someone…

I don't think it's bad, I just don't think it's anything special. And I definitely don't get the idea that it's the best pop music ever written. Most bands, people would just agree to disagree, but you're not the first person to tell me that not liking Big Star means I'm an idiot.

"Rally 'round the family"
(Ooh, round the family, ooh, 'round the family)

Holy shit, your girlfriend was Pam Geller?

Actually, as a prog fan I can sympathize with the 'no respect' thing, but that whole underground-cult-of-cool thing is just annoying, especially when my bands are being held up as a cautionary tale of what to avoid at all costs. All the bands you've mentioned, plus the Velvets, Pixies, early Weezer…it all feels like…

Gee whiz! Katie Upton sure filled out over the summer!

Big Star, man. There's a cult I don't get. It all sounds like so much sappy adolescent mush to my ears, but the way people worship them, my God! And pining about how they were robbed of fame and fortune in the 70's like it was some kind of conspiracy. Jeez, they strummed guitars and sang about girls in three-minute…

Also, because the Tea Party isn't really a populist anti-elitist political movement so much as the far right of the Republican Party with a different name/a prefab group funded by various right-wing organizations.

We all served white wine in crystal goblets at our high-school parties, right? Not just me?

A gym I go to at one point played a censored version of the Doors' 'Break on Through'. "Everybody loves my baby! SHE GET ____! SHE GET ____!" I thought it was fucking hilarious. It's 2014 and you still think you have to play by Ed Sullivan's rules.