I would like to point out that this dumb motherfucker's apology includes the phrase "a different tact." Tack. Tack, you dumb fuck.

Great. Another moron who doesn't understand the definition of "free speech." Having the right to freedom of speech doesn't inoculate you from criticism of your free speech.

FERRETS

Throwing garbage out of car windows. Not a cigarette. Like oh I'm done with ____ rolls down window and tosses. I dated a girl who did this and was so instantly turned off because I actually didn't know grown up humans did such things.

I saved up to buy a kitty surprise when I was a kid, and my mom took me to the toy store to pick one out. I must have spent half a freaking hour trying to decide which one to buy (because HOW MANY ARE INSIDE?), while my mom kept saying "Just pick one already." I finally picked one, brought it home, and AW YEAH 5…

Well hey now, this is unfair. These are clearly student films and microbudget indies. Let's head on over to the major TV/Film listings and see the diverse and challenging roles available to women.

I wanted to speak

These are perfect little misogyny haikus. I'm hoping I'll be able to show these to my granddaughters/great-nieces to explain how much better they have it.

One time my cat ran away. Turned out she was just in the wall right next to my apartment. Wish I'd known that before spending every single waking moment of the 5 days she was "gone" running around in -20°F weather, leaving cat food next sources of heat, tracking every set of paw prints I could find, putting up posters…

Poor little Cotton. I just want you to know that we, your brothers and sisters, are all praying for your safe return.

Can we talk about Samantha for a minute? I just checked out her collection, because I haven't since she was brought back from retirement or whatever they were calling it. WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED TO HER DRESSES? She had the best clothes. Now she wears, well. She wears this:

Like I'm sad, but then I'm like....NOW JOHN CHO IS FREE TO GO BE OLIVIA POPE'S NEW BOYFRIEND! Or go and try to win the heart of the one and only Abigail Mills.

That's exactly why there should be a law that every person in America should work as a server for one year.

Nope, sadly you aren't the only one. Mine usually does it while I am laying in bed as well, which leads to me screaming "ITS BURIED! YOURE DONE!" a million times over. She doesn't care though. It can never be too buried.

I'm in the unique position of not cringing one bit at this. Because as of yet I haven't heard a poop-related hookup story worse than my own.

Oh God...This story brings SO many memories. Here it goes:

I don't TRY to do it, but if I have to poop at a guys house (or if he's at mine) I poop. I figure if he can't handle me pooping/knowing that I poop etc he probably doesn't deserve to see me naked.

I'm just speaking from personal experience here, but if you can't tell if there's a spark or if you're attracted, then you're not. I had many of those before I met my husband who was all "spark" from day one. Everyone is different, though. I hope it works out for the best for you!

if you're in New York, check out Sleep No More. It's by a company called punchdrunk and ohmigod I've never seen anything like their london show The Drowned Man.