I'm not one to believe in fate, but the following sequence of events makes me wonder...

Better Than Bullion

"My resume is in Comic Sans!" I guffawed at this since I've been waging a war against this font FOR AGES.

I understand that you're being sarcastic, but you actually have it all correct.

No no no, it's the Ecru Mollusc. I know it's easy to get them confused, though.

Another Blue Spider-Crab story? That place must be awful to work at.

I never thought I'd thank Yahoo for anything again!

Here's the other reason I did a Foods That Should Not Exist: since this is the column that landed me this job, and a trip out of the nightmare that is the food industry, I thought it only fitting that my last full feature as a Recruit (other than next Monday's BCO) be a probably-overdue edition of Foods That Should…

I see a twist like in "The Usual Suspects" coming when the homeowner remarks to the confused officer who has just let the feline burglar outside, "Cat? I don't own a cat."

From the moment a man engages in conversation with someone who might find him attractive, he wants to show his penis v. v. much. He is sure this person wants to see his penis v. v. much. His phone, as it happens, has a camera. He has trouble keeping any other thought in his head. Should he ask, or should be simply…

I was alone and a little tipsy.

It seems like I can't go anywhere anymore without people assuming you want lemon on your water (or tea) glass, so I just make it part of my ordering process. "Water please, no lemon." When my family all goes out together, my habit of saying "no lemon" reminds my brother and father to say the same, whereas my mom…

I think some people have a cow over it because there were quite a few news stories a few years ago about lemons from the rims of glasses testing positive for fecal matter: http://www.today.com/id/23355862/ns…

This would be my sister's story... I should send her over here because I swear she must have a dozen books worth of restaurant stories.

No. 5 here is Mats Hummels playing for Germany... woof

Until it's frozen liberally.

I was an awkward, fat, lonely 12 year old girl who was obsessed with horror movies and masturbating, being raised by a single mother in a small town in the early 90's. Every Friday night my mom would take me to our nearest video store and I would gather 4 - 5 different rated-R VHS scary movies (I would specifically…

Lol. Until it's FROZEN

But how long you let it freeze?