Yes, I have two that chirp and “brrrt” is exactly the sound. Of course, they also meow, loudly and often, which is not as adorable as the chirp.

Actually, surprisingly, don’t hate it, but the pants need to be hemmed omigod I’m turning into my mother.

This needs more stars

You’re lucky you survived his assault without “all head, neck, eyes and vision were severely damaged”!

I have been to the one in Foley, AL (apparently, the only location outside of Missouri) more than once and those rolls are the lightest, fluffiest rolls ever. Unless the roll was being fired out of a t-shirt cannon or stronger, there is no way a roll did permanent damage.

Maybe. But that movie would have been good with almost any other leading man.

He was definitely not smart. But I really think he thought that would make me want to impress him, just like a classic PUA would. Glad I dodged that bullet!

First date:

The Pie Vs Cake bracket was my introduction to Jezebel! I can’t believe it’s only been five years since I found my online home. It was still probably the best March Madness bracket ever!

Haha, nope, never took German and Canyon Vista isn't ringing any bells (uncomfortable or otherwise). I guess dogs eating homework isn't that farfetched after all.

"My dog ate my homework"

"I don't cook much. Not sure how that would work with my dog."

The mint flavor is the only lip balm I've used for the past 5 years!

The mint flavor is the only lip balm I've used for the past 5 years!

I had to pause mid-episode to IMDB it. And my hunch was confirmed.

Perhaps the reason the cop reminded you of Sitwell from Agents of SHIELD is because they are played by the same actor.

Went on one date with a guy. He had a cat (totally cool! me too!) and was a vegetarian (I'm not, but I can work with that). But then he said he was thinking of getting rid of his cat because he was uncomfortable that his cat ate meat. Um, vegetarianism is a choice you can make for yourself but not for your cat.

I'm so jealous! My Kitty Surprise only had 3 kitties. And I definitely picked one out in the store, thinking "This one looks bigger; I bet there's 5 babies inside."

A similar thing happened when I was in high school. Our family moved to a new house, and we were very careful not to let the cats escape through an open door. But a few days after the move, one of the cats was nowhere to be found. We looked outside, calling for her, leaving food out for her, but she never showed up.

That reminds me of a "dish" a friend in middle school used to make. She took a large can of cooked chicken, a package of cream cheese, packet of ranch dressing mix, and two slices of white bread and mixed it together, forming a vaguely rounded mass. I don't know if it was supposed to be chicken salad or a…

Lol, I bet Ward does it at 4:30 every morning before his daily workout.