Press A to punch. Three punches kill. You cannot jump.
…Yeah, Snake sounds cool.

The final area of a jrpg is always space or crystals or, ideally, both.

The map only has the icons once you've killed the colossus, if I remember correctly (and I'm almost positive I do). So, in a new game+, the map is hand-holdy, but it doesn't matter because it's new game+.

I'm glad I masturbated before I saw the headline image.

The spambot uses magazine clippings so its handwriting is untraceable.

I've been here four years, but I don't know the words. I just mumble at all the football games.

Nah. We posted something that was perfectly newsworthy ($80,000 for Jack White!) and then we included a feature about some of his rider demands. It was a lighthearted story that didn't make him out to be some sort of diva. Then he got pissy and made the whole thing into a circus, and for that I thank him.

Speaking as an editor for The Oklahoma Daily, I have to say that all is forgiven, Jack White. Your fake drama has given us more pageviews than we could ever have dreamed.

Whichever it is, at least it won't be well-written.

Don't be silly. There's no way this went through multiple drafts.

Great Job, Multi-Million-Dollar Hollywood Marketing Department!

Was eXistenZ supposed to be watchable? After about 30 minutes, I gave up in disgust at the non-chemistry between Law and Leigh, and I only made it that far because Netflix promised me some Dafoe.

So, real talk: I bought Persona 3 a few months ago and tried to play it and found it just insufferable. Something about the (godawful) soundtrack plus the repetitive gameplay and the uninteresting combat made me turn it off after a few hours. Does it actually get good later on? Like, good enough to make suffering…

You do know that we can see who upvotes you, right? So you know we can tell you're upvoting yourself, right? And you know that looks pathetic, right?

You should post the link to that video. So that I don't accidentally find it in the future. Yes. That is why you should post it.

I always thought "proper" roleplaying involved a sexy schoolgirl outfit, a playground, a van with tinted windows, zip ties, a ball gag, and sheepish explanations to the police. I'm not sure what cats have to do with it.

9 dungeons? Whoa there, let's not get carried away. Cut one of them, then we'll talk.

I'm a Michael, so for every archangel and Arrested Development character (N, M, what's the difference?) to do justice to my good name, there's ten guys like Mikey from the Ninja Turtles.
The worst one, though, is Mike Wazowski from Monsters Inc. See, I have a Lithuanian last name, ending in -sky, so every new group of…