I'm pretty sure they put you under oath for jury selection, so it's probably perjury or a related charge to lie.

You owe me!

I still have a hard time believing that anyone would nickname someone who wore a black-and-yellow sweater "Sting" and not "Fuckin' Bee Sweater Over Here".

What did they do to deserve this?!

Oh, I know that's how he'd get there. I'm just saying, the kids who got into Hufflepuff because it was the actual right fit would hate him.

Hufflepuff is the "fairness and justice" House. He'd get beaten up every day in Hufflepuff.

DO NOT TALK ABOUT THE EVENT

My guess is "Professionally Known As".

It definitely sounds like it should be fancier than a mayor.

Is a "borough president" just a fancier mayor?

Or Falcon. Or Bucky.

For some reason, he only offers when we're at the beach…

Or anything, really.

I think I saw that issue on Superdickery.

*step-mother

And that's terrible.

Ah, okay. I read that as "annoying people will annoy you about something else instead" and not "more questions about why you don't drink".

Practical jokes and murder?

Really? Because I actually don't drink (alcohol gives me splitting headaches, and I don't mean hangovers) and people just take it as either a challenge or an invitation to pester me with questions about it.

Lawrence Olivier? What are you doing on the AV Club?