If Dems keep the Senate, it should be a four judges confirmed a day for two more years. Even Manchin has been a reliable vote for judges.

Nope. Going to be two years of Hunter Biden’s Laptop and probably three fake impeachments so they can say Trump isn’t the most impeached President ever anymore.

He’s so utterly harmless-clownish, or is as we’d seen him thus far, so I was really having trouble envisioning him pulling off the other version. I honestly couldn’t picture what that moment would actually be like, but the second it started it all of a sudden made perfect sense. He was so good.

Oh cool. My baby arrived at home (husband caught her but as I was alone for 90% of the labour I’m not giving him the credit of delivery). Call me Dr Lady please.

Sorry, can’t get past absolutely baffling snark about two late term pregnancy losses, a major health scare, and the death of a parent. WTF?

As opposed to Jennifer Anniston being his biological mother?  Probably a safe bet.

I believe “Amber Turd” is also the nickname of Donald Trump.

“Unsure of what Carlson’s plans are, I raised my toilet’s lid and screamed “WHAT ARE YOU DOING TODAY” down into the pipes where the Fox News anchor is rumored to summer.”

In the best AV Club tradition, it can be two things: Billy, I think, is clearly conflicted about how he’s gone about his career, so doing the text could stem from both a book idea and a wish to escape.

Love Vinho Verde, and lord, do I love Portugal.  I also learned that they don’t export much of their best wine, so you have to go there to enjoy (and boy, did I). 

Vinho verde. ;) Beijos, Portugal.

I saw it last night, pressed the notification, and wondered if I just fell into the trap by pressing the notification when nothing happened. Glad this was just a mistake. 

RE: Jim Carrey

When my cat stares at me, I stare right back and start doing the slow blink. Then she starts doing a slow blink. Then we’re both trading off slow blinks until she closes her eyes serenely. 

Well, they tried the usual thing of wearing sweatsuits in between routines, but the cats just keep wriggling out of them.

Let me get this straight: A child rapist’s crime being caused by a glove from outer space and using puppet mock ups of his real, living victims that didn’t give permission for any of this is the moral version to this guy?

It would be a lot less infuriating if people like Johannson and Degeneres didn’t try to twist their continued friendships with people who have done shitty things as some sort of brave or morally courageous stance. The simple fact of the matter is you like someone personally for whatever reason, and don’t want to…

Someone recently shared a long twitter thread on facebook about Goldblum's creepy antics, but it got zucced. He's probably just hoping that doesn't get picked up. 

Nonsense. Melania knows how to raise children. After all, the greatest principle in Melania’s life is that she may not harm, nor allow by inaction to come to harm, a human being. The second-greatest principle in Melania’s life is that she must obey all orders given to her by a human being, unless such orders would…