From the Anecdata File: There were five women in my birth class last year. Four of us had unplanned pregnancies due to birth control failures. (Yes, including mine.)

My little man (he's almost two) informed me this weekend in no uncertain terms that pants and shorts that went below his knee were no longer acceptable attire. His knees needed complete freedom of movement for life to be worth living. It was cold outside. I made him wear soft sweatpants. He cried for ten whole…

I'm just going to leave this right here...

I hear paintball guns are fun to play with. So are nerf guns. And water guns. And BB guns. And laser tag guns. And, hell, even geocaching which doesn't use gun shaped things at all to simulate an outdoor hunting experience is fun for a lot of people. I honestly do not understand the mindset behind a gun culture that…

Yeah, I'm also a low income single parent who has spent time in food banks and social services offices. As much as I wanted to be on this lady's side because solidarity, yo...the story seems off to me too. She totally could have taken her kids with her, she just didn't want to. I understand all too well feeling like…

Well, in Oregon an official State ID costs $45. However the application requires that you have supporting documents for proof of citizenship like a birth certificate and/or passport. If you don't have either of those on hand you have to add the cost of getting them ($135 for a first time passport application or up to…

Yep, definitely not the case. I finally realized that I was always just a means to an end to him while his son was an extension of himself and therefore worthy of his affections. One of the things I found the most insufferable about our relationship towards the end is how he would thank me for taking care of his son,…

Oregon. Part of my ex's deal was hiding a wife and children from me and not feeling bad about it. He literally shrugged it off when found out and confronted. (I've got a more detailed post about all of that on another article. I think you can find it if you click on my profile.) Anyway, in his attempts to keep his…

Yes! The view of their offspring as a literal extension of themselves and thus their superiority is so unsettling to me. Being developmentally normal isn't enough. My ex asked over and over if the doctor had said our son was 'smarter than other babies' after a well-baby checkup. Umm, he was six months old at the time.…

Yeah, I know daycare centers can be sketchy too. My mom worked in child care for a while and being a teacher's assistant in one was my first real job. So I was really picky when it came time to choose the right place for the pup. I did several site visits to different places and 'sat in' the first week for a few hours…

Oh man. I'm a single parent who lives a hundred miles away from my closest extended family member. (So no free babysitting from grandma, et al.) Honestly, stories like these are the reason I chose a daycare center over an in-home provider when I went back to work after maternity leave and why I almost never go out now…

It was Father's day weekend. I was four months pregnant and had just moved into my own tiny two room apartment in preparation for baby's arrival. In a rare moment of reaching out for the sake of strengthening a weak family connection I took a break from unpacking and called my dad to wish him a happy holiday. (I talk…

This made my day! Thank you. After such unanimous advice from internet strangers I'm feeling much more sure about listening to that quiet inner voice telling me it's time to start some fires. My lifelong extreme aversion to conflict is what made me such an easy mark for this guy and I just flat out need to get past…

Well, I don't think empathizing with his other victims can actually be considered Stockholm Syndrome. That would be a more appropriate charge if I was still with him and loudly defending his behavior because TRUE LOVE made him do it and shit. However, I do appreciate the sentiment and sadly admit that this is not the…

In his own way, I think he does love his son. He just loves himself more. I think I'm finally at the point where I feel ready to talk to a lawyer. Even if it's just for peace of mind, like you said.

Sorry, that wasn't clear. I gave up on getting child support (or at least his version of it which was mailing me a money order from a PO box a couple of times) when I gave him the ultimatum to either establish paternity, pay official child support, and go through our State's mediated custody process to establish a…

In the three years I've known him he's been kicked out of his grad program and lost at least one job because of conflicts with female professors and coworkers. To say he does not react well to women giving him ultimatums is an understatement. Also, as far as I can tell from periodic Googleing he's currently only…

I don't have a lawyer yet. The thing that stops me from getting one is just straight up not wanting this guy in our lives anymore. At this point I sincerely believe that he has some kind of narcissistic personality disorder. Without established paternity he has no enforceable rights in my State. So far I've been…

The kid doesn't deserve any of it. I'm just trying to do as much damage control as possible given the situation. I tried very hard for the first six months to keep his father involved because I believed that would be better for my son. Cataloging the crap I put up with from my ex during that time would take a five…

So...I'm actively soliciting advice here so feel free to jump on this thread as hard as you can. I was involved with a guy on and off for two years and thanks to a good old fashioned birth control failure I got pregnant. Four months in after making a tough choice to keep the baby despite my financial hardships and our…