homeless [hohm-lis]

His best-ever line, from his review of Prince's Dirty Mind: "Mick Jagger should fold up his penis and go home."

I thought that, too, but then I figured the NFL never got a copy of the tape. So when they finally see those punches, Goodell will probably suspend some guys.

I'm gonna buy a new television before this game specifically so that I can break the one I already have when I see all this go down.

Every year I want to make that goddamn chili so fucking badly, and every year my wife is still deathly allergic to beans.

I nominate Miko Grimes to stand in for all of Marshawn Lynch's press conferences.
All in favor?

Look, if the Bible tells us anything, it's that God is a fan of bringing a variety plagues on exploited, over-taxed, starving citizens for weeks on end.

He cares about the NFL players so much, he usually meets them 15-20 years sooner than you'd expect.

Why would God watch football when his son can't even win the quarterback job for the fucking Titans?

I beg to differ. My friend Jesús won't shut the fuck up about fútbol.

Congress would have nothing to do with this. The Federal Reserve handles deflation.

Silver may be an innovator, but the NFL already has this. And I have to admit, I do get some pleasure out of seeing the Jaguars compete against pro teams.

Another trick free kick that actually worked:

You know, it's honestly one of those things that nobody will be happy with. I felt like it was important to mention the common diuretics out there just to keep in mind. A combination of exercise, a few cups of coffee, and an afternoon soda could change your hydration needs, but it all really depends on your body…

Thanks, Zarn! Ask and you shall receive...

I hear that, and I thank you for bringing a heartwarming perspective to my needlessly hostile take on Steph's compulsive gnawing.

Personally, I love it. Used to be that fidgety as a kid (and am still that fidgety as an adult) and teachers always told me to cut it out. Seeing a guy who probably endured the same nagging elevate it to an art form warms my heart.

He's not the first curry to induce offensive runs.