If I had a superpower I kinda wish it would be to see the 10 minutes that surround each and every one of these injuries. 

• SWELLING TO PENIS AFTER USING PENIS PUMP

• SOMEONE STEPPED ON A RAKE AND ITS HANDLE STRUCK HIM IN THE TESTICLES

“

“the opposite of the butt, the penis”

So the Steelers and Tomlin are married, til death do they part?

It was a stealth fighter jet. So stealth. You wouldn’t believe it! You can’t even see it! No one can, it’s so stealth. Isn’t that unbelievable?? The best jet in the history of jets, we’ve got it, no one ever has done this.  So amazing, if you think about it. Everyone says it. Fake news! 

Nah I think Andrew Luck and colts fans could think of something worse. 

You’re mostly right actually. But they beat the raiders, cardinals and 49ers by a combined 83 points. They beat the chargers by 12 but their other 6 wins are by one score or less. (+3 twice, +2 twice, +5, +7)

Older dishwashers that may be true. Newer dishwashers take a test sample of water to determine how dirty the dishes are and how hard to work to clean them. Pre washing the dishes actually tricks the dishwasher to not work as hard because the dishes aren’t that dirty. 

How does the wok stay balanced? How are you supposed to use those tiny handles while cooking with it? 

How does the wok stay balanced? How are you supposed to use those tiny handles while cooking with it? 

Down 2 scores with 4 minutes to go, being down another score doesn’t change much for win probability

Whoooooosh

My gf and I do that too but lately we’ve been switching out the dough for those Naan breads. We can top it however we want and we each get a little personal size pizza. Perfect serving size too 

Was it for their show at The Mirage?

“The biles” is also my offerings when I’m genuflecting to the porcelain God on Sunday mornings.

Lets mark it above Tommy John but behind Lou Gehrig and Kerri Strug  

Just one more thing Simone Biles does incredibly better than me.

It may have been the drugs or maybe it broke apart but actually passing the stone wasn’t painful for me. However, the day before I prayed for the sweet release of death as it traversed through my inner piping. I was so scared it would hurt my penis coming out but I didn’t even notice it happening but I couldn’t stop…

Ive cried at the dentist recently