i think there is some of this but also, alas, this type of modeling is that which is considered the acceptable mode in society, and that for which women will be praised not only by men but by other women. we are trained to be collusive in this dynamic. i am not the first to say that women can be harsher about the…

its so tragic, really.....:( the collective hive mind.

whatever ‘good’ means, right? but yes; i also had years of: why did this happen to me? and spent fruitless hours trying to answer that question. i shall look into your book; thank you for the recommendation.

excellent point. thank you. also passed legislation about marital rape.

thank you for saying this. there truly has been a sea change over the past few years. but it will take some of us time to catch up!

feeling that it was your fault is in a way a total normal defense mechanism. if i can feel that somehow it was my fault, i can prevent it from ever happening again in the future (is how the frontal lobes work). i have never been raped but i have endured an insane amount of other trauma that came from nowhere, and the…

dear girl, i have to ask. how much custody does he have, and are you doing the lion’s share of the work of raising the children?

yes. space sounds like a good idea. but it also (maybe?) sounds like he has become habituated to all of your sweet, little gestures? maybe resist these, too?

i second morocco: maybe a tour of the atlas mountains?

my life as a dog omg that film is wonderful

i picked this up, today, as a matter of fact. i have been having such extreme boundary issues based on this extreme need for approval and seeming inability to speak up: the two seem like they might make a good combination. thanks, again.

this sounds really painful; feeling as though you are being overlooked. i have no advice but am sending you so many hugs, right now. is there any way you might send him an email with exactly that which you have written to us?

this looks really, really good. it’s in my cart, now. thank you.

and.... you can wear flip-flops all over your new house!

congratulations on the house!!! shoes are overrated. :)

thank you! no one will understand this now since i deleted my original post (i had not realised that i was on someone’s thread). total insanity. i think i may lock myself at home until september 6. srsly.

redacted. sorry. ):

ignore. walk away. let it go. you cannot change her. but you do not have to be in the room when it happens. be grateful that you are not her and that you do not have these issues. congratulate yourself on your sanity.

[redacted for having accidentally invaded someone’s thread]

agreed. what is your other option? lowry’s???