70%? The Thunderbird is a *small* car as it is. While out for a drive in the redwoods, I once met the guy who owns the Thunderbird driven by Suzanne Somers in American Graffiti. I couldn’t fit inside and I’m 5'11 205 lbs. I got one leg in the car, sat behind the wheel, but couldn’t get the other leg in.

I hauled a couple hundred dead and live invasive catfish in the back of my pickup.

Rope up a small flock of hoverboards in front, like little electric sled dogs.

Thank you guys so much for doing something as patently ridiculous as actually buying this thing, and sharing your experience with us. This is exactly the sort of silly escapist fun we all need right now. Keep em coming!

I imagine this is far from the weirdest thing his wife has caught him doing. 

Yes. Yes you should.

FINALLY! I’ve been refreshing Jalopnik hourly for the past couple of days for this. Should I one-up Jason and get the second-cheapest car on Alibaba so that we can drag race?

I think some of the lyrics may need changing now. No more Sea, no more swimming....

She looks incredibly worried that she can’t suck in her gut anymore. 

Anals of de Muro... worst porn parody ever.