Furiously downloading the SeekingArrangement app.

On the bright side, if True Lies came out now/recently, there would definitely be a True Lies 2 because Hollywood execs.

There will also be a promotion in which any player concussed during a TNF game will get an Echo.

Customers who watched NFL Thursday night games also purchased:

“And remember, Junior, if the teacher forgets to assign homework, make sure you point that out before your classmates clear out.”

“Well, I’m sorry if you just can’t handle a fan of sport making sure the rules are followed, good sir.”, the dickbag says, just before calling the HOA about those infernal children selling their damned lemonade down the street.

I would rather “dragged kicking and screaming into prison”, but fine, walking is okay too.

Any statement on sexual assault from Donald should begin with “I’m deeply sorry for all of the times I’ve sexually assaulted women” and should end with his resignation. Otherwise, shut the fuck up.

S! S=T! S-T-A and R! With comments like that, you will go FAR! Yay, Madoffs Mets!

Rumor has it the cheerleaders were also part of a pyramid scheme.

Of course police told them they did nothing wrong; prostitution is completely legal in Horry County.

Except himself, of course. Smug piece of shit.

Lavar (Butter)Ball. I apologize for nothing.

At least he kept with his average and only scored 2 in that video

Would be interesting to see how he would adapt. He’d probably have to fight at some point.

like we needed more evidence that phil kessel is a beer leaguer at heart

That brings up a major question I have about Japanese baseball. They love baseball. They love architecture. They love spending stupid amounts of money looking cool. So why do all these baseball clips come from these ugly ass Tropicana looking stadiums? Mazda Zoom-Zoom stadium looks pretty good, and Koshien might be…

I’ve done work on dehydration for the Army. Thirst is NOT a reliable indicator unless under circumstances that you are very acclimated to. Used to living in the Northeast and not doing much physical labor? You’ll find you can’t rely on your thirst to tell you when to drink if you suddenly are doing a lot of work in…

It's quite simple to be safe in a strange place, really. For me, it all boils down to two key points: