coincidentally enough, Patterson will have plenty of holes opened up for him in the coming years.

Considering how bad he struck out with those kids, I'm gonna guess Mike Napoli.

An overjoyed Steve Phillips has updated and emailed his résumé to WTAE.

You go all crazy when a white guy does something like this, but it's a hilarious "joke" when Derrick Rose goes to a party dressed in Quackface.

randomly wandered into a Sears portrait studio

The best kind is Shin Ramyun.

However, unlike Blade Runner, anal sex is vastly improved when narrated by Harrison Ford.

Everyone here is aware that the only serious arms race that is going on right now is the Far East, right? That China and NK are (and have been) building some pretty serious military capability? And as for the curious suggestion that the 'Japanese culture' is in any way preferable to the American one, well, if one…

Honestly I appreciate Simmons because I believe Grantland's one of the few entities from ESPN that honestly "gets" what real fans are frustrated about, and tries actually bringing compelling stories to light. We're tired of relentless pandering to commissioners, beating the life out of stories, and generally moving…

"Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I'm just a caveman... Your world frightens and confuses me. When I see your self-propelling autocars, sometimes I just want to throw spears at them. I'm more at home hunting the woolly mammoth than I am hunting a good interior decorator. And when I see a solar eclipse, like the one I…

Well that's silly. Everybody knows that Spearmen are practically worthless against Mechanized Infantry.