Why bother? In another ten years there won’t be any more manuals manufactured.

Why you gotta bring up my fetish here?

Tilda Swinton is a great actress. I couldn’t give a fuck about her opinions on Harry Potter.

wut

This is the fallacy of relative privation.

You should both get physicals then try marital counseling. Plus, you should shave your lady bits and sleep in the same bed at the same time. I’m sure there are things your boyfriend could do as well.

“I was dating someone breifly...”

Medication, baby wipes, snacks.

I resemble neither a hamster nor a baby carrot, though I am super-cute.

I know.

You’re just jealous that you don’t have a carrot.

There’s no way your mind could be read logically.

That sounds pretty ironic, truthfully.

I hope he gets a questionable oyster in the stuffing.

The Dalai Lama has always been, and will continue to be, a problematic dick.

Good Christ, you suck diseased donkey balls.

Thats the face of someone just who spent the last half hour licking Rich’s taint.

Oh, please, it’s not like his dog died.

This feels like a tarp.

Five bucks sez I made you blush.