I've owned several, the only times they ever stopped working correctly is when I dropped them.

How to make perfect hard OR soft boiled eggs in far fewer steps:

if you kick a guy in the face to use it for stairs, which clearly didn't happen here

The problem is that the game takes 4 hours. The end.

The only thing more obnoxious than Alex Rodriguez are these unabashed, masturbatory tidbits that anyone who's ever considered writing a baseball piece feels obligated to ram down our throats, like we're too fucking stupid to remember halfway a long-form piece that the article is about baseball.

You can't make a contrite apology, accepting responsibility for your actions, while simultaneously crying about how unfair everyone else was. That's not how it works.

I had no issue with him being a prick to everyone when it's what they deserved — he had every right to be a prick about it. If you want to say he…

I served the longest suspension in the history of the league for PED use. The Commissioner has said the matter is over. The Players Association has said the same. The Yankees have said the next step is to play baseball.

FYI — the link directs to page 2/3 on the GQ article...?

11 seconds in, James Harden thinks about playing defense. Then says "Nah... This is the all-star game I'm James Harden."

found: scouting footage, as introduced by LL Cool J.

It's a great joke because Diaco is the HC of UCONN, the state that Daron is from, where their QB's are terrible, and where their starter retired last year.

this is good kinja.

"Daron? It's Bob Diaco. We've got an opening, what with one of our quarterbacks retiring, and the rest being generally terrible. What do you say? Can you start this year?"

i'd say that deer is stuck in a rut.

...and i can't believe my life turned into making deer puns on the internet.

What you're saying is that the only form of intercourse before spoken language was rape.

I know the Marshall Mathers LP2 just took RAOTY at the Grammy's, and while I haven't heard it yet, can we collectively acknowledge that the original is probably unfairly underrated? People talk about great hip-hop from the 2000's and no one mentions this record. Try it, I guarantee you they won't. You'll hear all…

Below, please discuss how music was much better when we were teens, and let's start talking about carpooling.

I decided to keep watching the Grammys just so I can hate on it and call them bigots and racists.

Seriously, in the last 6 years, "Best Rap Album" has been won by 1.5 black people. (Drake and Kanye)

i also like the theory that the whole thing is an extended diss track... that the ranch hand didn't respect his success at his age, so neil young basically wrote the song as "we're not that different, i'm wildly successful and you're a lifetime ranch hand who never left the state, but i guess we got this one thing in…